Transition of a Lifetime
by SuperbNova
Summary: The Most Dangerous Love rewrite. Naruto and his twin move back to Konoha, But everythings not as smooth as it should be. The transition's going to take them on one hell of a ride. HaremNaruto
1. From America with love!

"Naruto, wake up!" Kyuubi shouted to his twin that continued to ignore him and snuggle even deeper into the plane seat. A wicked idea popped into his head and he dug a rubber band out of his back pocket and popped it as hard as he could at his slumbering twin. The passengers still on board the air vessel stared very queerly at them.

"Seriously Kyuubi!" I asked the tall idiot hovering over me. Why did I decide to sit next to him I'll never know. Here I was having a nice dream about seducing ramen bowls when suddenly I get a freaking rubber band to the eye! I already wear glasses for my less than average eyesight, and on top of that I have an eye injury! Now the idiot has the gall to grin at me! If I didn't love him I would hate him.

"Oh c'mon sleeping beauty get up. Iruka is waiting for us." He's so lucky that's true or he would have had a foot in a place where feet just shouldn't be.

We exited the plane and made our way inside the terminal. Well, more like pushed and shoved our way inside. Hey! Just because I'm vertically challenged doesn't mean you can try to run me over! Anyway, rant over! My brother took off on a run as soon as he found our adoptive father (leaving me in the process). It's actually not fair because he's a freaking giant, and I'm only 5"4'. That's like actually below the average woman's height. Where did all the genes go?

"Naruto! Come here and let me see you." My guardian demanded. See Iruka is a sort of strange man. I like to call him a mother hen to the highest degree, even though he's a guy (just barely). He's a short man, (taller than me grr) and his skin was a light brown. The dark brown hair on his head was almost always pulled up in a tight ponytail. He is an adorable little character, and I think the cutest thing about him is the scar on his nose. I could never take him serious when he got irritated, it was just too fun.

He gave me his five minute health check inside the airport, which was extremely embarrassing and involved my cargo shorts to be removed.

"Come you two! Let's get your bags so we can go home. There's so much to talk about." And there was, but there was also a lot to be left out. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

The car ride home was short and unfulfilling, except the questions that were spouted out at us, but that was expected. Finally I saw our house forming in the distance and I almost jumped for joy. The three story house looked the same as the day we left three years ago. The house was western styled like most houses in the neighborhood.

The first thing I did when I got inside was run to my room to shower. I couldn't stand the 14 hour plane stink radiating from my body. I also had to wash the annoying brat smell also. After my 30 minute shower I walked to the kitchen to spend some time with Iruka and Kyuubi who were already seated and eating.

"So, boys tell me how was school in the states." I already knew he was going to ask this question so I already had my answer prepared. Kyuubi's were fixed on me and I knew he was trying to see how I would handle it.

"It was really cool. I met a lot of new people!" Iruka was getting that crazy glint in his eyes and I knew he was going into that crazy subspace he goes into when I interact with boys. I guess he figured girls wouldn't be a problem for me. Which is totally not true! Ok, so I do flirt a lot with girls, but I can't help it if the girls find me irresistible. Ladies just have a thing for blonde guys in glasses. Maybe that Draco Malfoy guy should take my advice so he doesn't get his ass kicked in every Harry Potter movie ever made.

"Oh, new people you say? Anyone in particular catch your eye?" And there it goes. Apparently Iruka has this weird power where he can get any information from you no matter how hard you try to hide it. I glared at my twin who I know was laughing at me across the table.

"Well, I met a really nice guy there. His name was Kimimaro Kaguya." I didn't have to mention that we dated secretly for three years. Yup! That little fact didn't need to be mentioned at all. I could tell that Iruka knew I didn't give him all the information I could have, but he didn't press it. It was a bad memory that didn't need to be brought up again. Leaving Kimi hurt more than anyone could imagine, but it was for the best overall.

"Well I'm glad for you both. Kyuu I just hope you waited at least one week before you had sex over there." My twin at least had the nerve to look away guiltily, before flashing that brilliant smile that we Namikaze-Uzumaki's were known for.

"I've pulled in a couple of favors so you guys could start school here in Konoha. You might get moved into different classes then the ones you're going to get on Monday, so don't be surprised. Principle Tsunade was very happy to hear that you guys were coming back, so Naru please no pranks." He gave me that scary eye twitchy thing that he usually saves for his most troublesome students (which I am so not!).

"I'm not that bad~" I whined. I knew I could do some serious social damage with a prank, But the last time I did a prank was like five years ago in 7th grade.

We talked for a while longer before my jet lagged 17 year old body caught up with me. I have no idea how my potato-sack-built brother is still up. I swear on my prescription designer Armani glasses that he's a toddler in a red heads body.

As I walked up the stairs to my room I took some time to study the photos hanging on the walls. One picture in particular made me stop my trek to the top. It was a photo of a family. A short round faced woman with long red hair that rivaled the color of the blood under his skin and fierce violet eyes sat on a park bench. She held a baby in her arms. She gently held the orange bundle that had blonde wisps of hair peeking from under the blanket. Around her waist was an arm that led to a beaming young man with vibrant blonde hair that held an identical baby, but instead of blonde hair blood red hair and pudgy baby arms were reaching out towards the sky. The photo was one of tranquility and a calming reassurance that I knew was false beyond a reasonable doubt.

I don't know why Iruka keeps this photo here. It just makes me want to do something terrible to get back at the world that so cruelly decided my fate without my consideration. And… now I'm feeling bummed out. I guess it can't be helped.

xXx

Ah, Monday morning! School, girls, guys, homework, and teachers, just a couple of things on my list that make me all itchy on the outside. I have no idea why, but I hate school almost as much as I hate hospitals. Now that's really saying something referring to the countless number of times I slipped out of hospital rooms and buildings during my life. Not to mention the times where I (allegedly) assaulted a doctor that tried to stick me with a needle when I was five. Man did she get a face full of foot!

Well now that I've waste a nice ten minutes staring at my ceiling and thinking about poor Dr. Shizune, I think it's about time I get up and start my day. Swinging my feet over the edge of my bed I gathered all my wilting will power and stood. I walked into my shower and was greeted with the sight that I missed for three years, my Greek styled bathroom. Hey I know what you're thinking. Greek styled things and culture featured in Japan? Well I've always been a history freak, and when I was old enough I told my father (Iruka) my vision and he gladly helped.

Now that isn't the only cool part. It has a public bath styled tub that's wide and deep enough for five to wade comfortably with a separate bath for single users. The whole room is an earthy brown color that makes you feel like you're in an underground sauna. The shower in the corner was simply s godsend that my 17 year old body was suddenly grateful for. The frosted doors hid a dark green interior, and water spouts that pointed in all directions.

I stepped in the shower and quickly blasted the warm water. I scrubbed myself as hard as I could with my peach body scrub. I as I got the imaginary gunk out of my belly button I drifted to back to my memories back in America. Depressing, I know. But, if I had to be truthful with myself I knew they were only memories now. Everything was a memory. Mostly bad a small portion good, but they're going to be there as long as I live. His touch, his smell, his torture, his love, his horrible golden eyes, all of it. I can't even keep them separate any more. That's how twisted my brain is because of him. Now the water's cold. Damn.

xXx

"Do you think he can handle being in a new surrounding with his condition?" A voice I identified as my father's said. I knew what they were talking about, and it really pissed me off. They're in there talking about me, like I'm an invalid. Ok so my mind's a little muddled, and just a tad bit unstable, but I'm not a psycho.

"Well I think he'll be ok. The longest transition he had was when he and that guy from America got into a heated argument. It lasted about three weeks, until they made up. It wasn't all that bad. All he did was ranted and raved until they made up. Quite hilarious really." I heard a swat to what I could only assume was my brother getting hit.

"This is no laughing matter! I'm serious. I don't want one of his more violent characters to appear, and for someone to get hurt." The worry in my father's voice made me feel a bit guilty, but I can't help it. Whenever I change to whoever my brain wants to be, I always wake up without memory of my actions. I've tried every drug out there, but they never worked.

"Nah, Don't worry so much. It all just depends on the situation. Like on the plane home. This little kid sitting behind Naruto kept kicking his seat, and when Gekido(1) joined the party phew, I've never seen a kid cry so hard before. It was like Naruto was 120 lbs. of sailor mouth." For some reason I swelled with pride at this. I don't know maybe I am just a little messed up.

"Ahem." I said to get their attention. I knew I had it when Iruka got that guilty blush on his little dolphin face. They quickly cut of their 'me' centered conversation and got back to their cooling breakfasts.

xXx

'Well that was awkward.' I thought as I got into the car that was supposed to take us to school.

"So," Kyuubi began as he started the car. I didn't feel like talking right at the moment so I stared at the semi-familiar landscape. "Oh don't be such a drama queen, Naru! We were worried."

I continued to ignore him, but I could feel a sudden ache behind my eyes. 'Shit.' I knew what was happening and it was starting to sting even worse. I pulled off my glasses and rubbed my eyes to try and pacify the pain.

"Naru, You ok?" I shook my head in the negative, and I felt the car gently pull over to a stop. "Is it happening again?" A nod was all I could get out, seeing as the ache was turning into agony. 'And now I'm losing awareness.'

(A/N: Whenever Naruto changes, the perspective goes to the third person.)

"Naru?" Kyuubi questioned his brother gently, not knowing exactly who was at the moment. The blonde opened his sapphire and gazed at the red head with a blank expression.

"Kyuubi what the hell are you looking at? Shouldn't you be driving right now?" Kyuubi sighed in relief. He had, had a run-in with this character before. He actually enjoyed this one. Naru seemed to be rude right now, but he was sweet, loud, a little obnoxious, and all around cute and spunky He was also exclusively hetero. 'Today's going to be fun.' He thought with a smirk as he pulled back on the road and sped off to the school.

xXx

The duo walked onto the high school campus, heading straight for the administrative building where the principal's office was located. Naruto bounded straight for the door with the wooden plaque on the door that read 'Tsunade Senju.' Kyuubi cursed under his breath and tried to stop his twin before he regretted the action.

"BAA-CHAN!" Naruto yelled as he flung the door open with a loud bang. His glasses almost falling off with amount of bouncing he was doing. The slumped figure behind the desk woke with a grunt and a string of curses. Sleep ridden honey brown eyes stared back unseeingly until realization dawned on the deceivingly young features of the woman.

"Brats!" She shouted as she almost jumped over the desk to suffocate/hug the two twins.

"Baa-chan, your boobs are killing me!" She stepped away and bopped the blonde on the head. Her face lit up with a rare expression akin to joy as she looked the two over. She sat back down behind her large oak desk and put her hands under her chin. The twins took a seat in the chairs that magically appeared before the desk. (Author magic! *Throws sparkly dust*)

"Well you guys are finally back where you belong, huh?" She asked, really not needing an answer.

"Of course! I missed my old hag!" Kyuubi face palmed at his brother's extremely loud and innocently passionate answer. The vein in Tsunade's forehead was the only sign of her annoyance to Naruto's persona. She knew of Naruto's condition so she knew when to be wary of him. But, sometimes his personalities tested her patience. Ever since the accident that orphaned the twins happened, Naruto's mind had warped into a reality where he could escape the despair, and grief. Eventually his imagination changed to where it affected his mind. Making his characters come to life through him.

Tsunade was the doctor working the E.R. at the time when the children were rolled in. She had the unfortunate task of breaking the news about their parents to them. Naruto took the news the hardest, being the younger of the two and coddled more. He shut himself off to everyone, but his brother, and that was only a couple of words at most. The hospital called in Iruka, a child psychologist to come in and asses both the twins mental health. It was a grueling process full of tear , but Naruto began to open up to him and they became close friends.

The two 7 year olds were close to being discharged and sent to an orphanage, when Naruto's episodes started to happen. The blonde reverted back to the mental age of a toddler, and was deemed unfit to be moved. Tsunade lost all hope when rumors of an asylum started to float around the hospital for the whiskered child. She prayed with all her might that the twins could find someone to care for them. When Iruka announced them that he would like to adopt both the twins, the busty woman spent almost all her bill money partying with sake.

"Well we should probably get this started seeing as school is about to start. I don't know what your grades are from the states yet, so don't get all prissy if you end up in a class that doesn't fit your individual needs. Iruka picked a few elective classes that he thought you would like. Here are your schedules. You both have AP English for homeroom for the rest of the semester. We have a block schedule system in place so you both will have the same classes for two days, for two and a half hours a day. The next two days will be your different assigned courses. Then the last day will be your elective day. Meaning you will spend all day beside first period in your electives. Lunch is about a 45 minute affair. You boys are lucky that you got here his year and not a year before. Only juniors and seniors are allowed off campus for lunch, but that doesn't mean you can just disappear without warning." She fixed the boys with what she knew was a stern glare.

"Your first teacher is someone your familiar with, so I hope you'll feel comfortable." She stood up from behind her desk, the duo following her example. She outstretched her hand and gave both the boys a firm grip as if they were business partners.

"Welcome to Konoha High!"

xXx

"So Naruto who do you think is our teacher today. Tsunade-baba said it was someone we knew, and the only people I remember that are teachers are Kurenai, Anko, Genma, Yamato, Gai, and Asuma. But I think I'm forgetting someone." Kyuubi said as he tapped his chin thoughtfully. The duo was currently strolling down the halls in search for the right door number from their locator cards. 'Hatake… huh?'

Said blonde was wide eyed taking in every detail in the school. Glasses dipping slightly as he focused on something else just as quickly, completely ignoring the more level headed teen. Naruto was usually more mature than his brother when he was himself, but when he wasn't it was Kyuubi's job to take care of him. His mindset was not right today and there was no telling how many times it would change today. He only prayed that wherever his blonde twin was going to be he would be ok.

They rounded a corner and found a door with the correct numbers. The room was full already considering the amount of noise coming from inside. Kyuubi was about to enter when a groan from his left caught his attention. Naruto was rubbing his eyes again, and going through another transition as far as he could tell. The blonde stopped almost as soon as he started and was looking at his brother skeptically.

"Naru?" He called trying to figure out who it was this time, because he still wasn't the blonde that rode the plane with him three days ago.

"What?" 'Aw, shit. This is going to be hilarious.' Kyuubi thought when the blonde's voice changed to a sultry tone. Apparently Yūwaka(2) came out to play. He struggled not to laugh as the blonde mussed his hair up into what his crazy brain thought was sexy, which probably was to someone else. But Kyuubi thought it was just funny. Bag slung on his shoulder the blonde opened the door and strutted in saucily.

The red head was just about to burst from stifling his laughter. All talking stopped for the time being as the teenagers saw what some classified as a hot blonde strode confidently into the room a took a seat. Naruto sat near the window, totally ignoring everyone's questioning gaze. His twin sat beside him silently, although his shoulders were shaking with the force of trying not to laugh out loud.

One brave girl took her chances in approaching the two, but she was mainly focused on the blonde. Not to say that the red head was unattractive, but you couldn't just feel his oozing confidence as strongly. The blonde took his time to look away from the window as the girl came to a stop in front of him. When he did his smoldering blue eyes almost made her lose her will. Then he grinned brightly at her, making a couple of wet stains in the underwear of his classmates (not all girls either).

"Can I help you?" He all but purred. Kyuubi was hunched over trying to supply his lungs with the necessary oxygen needed for his survival, his wheezing the only sound in the currently quiet room.

"Uh-" She stammered currently lost in her own fantasies that included a certain blonde. She had short brown hair that framed a heart shaped face, and dark almost black eyes. She had on a hot pink tank top with a jacket on top and distressed black skinny jeans.

"Um, I'm Matsuri." She squeaked under his intense gaze. When his eyes roamed over her form she almost fainted. After two minutes of uninterrupted eye contact Naruto smirked and returned his gaze back to the window.

"I'm Naruto." Matsuri then proceeded to faint from lack of blood to her airhead.

xXx

Kyuubi finally stopped laughing long enough to look at the new faces in his homeroom. A face in particular caught is attention right away. The redhead recognized the boy as his once best friend Kiba Inuzuka. The teen had wild brown hair that had no sense of direction. The canine-like boy had tattoos of an upside down triangle on each of his cheeks. Kiba was currently absorbed in some manga about dog people, totally unaware of the situation that happened at the beginning of the class.

"Oi, mutt!" He yelled across the room. Everyone looked strangely at the redhead, trying to see exactly who he insulted. The brunette looked up from his book, immediately recognizing his friend. Kiba almost tripped over his feet as he tried to make his way over to the teens.

"Dude, when did you guys get back? And why wasn't I the first to know?" The dog barked in his usual brash, but endearing tone. He looked over towards the blonde statue and back to Kyuubi with a strangely sophisticated arched eyebrow. The other teen just shook his head with a small smirk, not wanting to go into the details with the blond around. Since they knew Kiba for a majority of their live Kyuubi knew the boy knew Naruto's condition.

"Well I thought about calling you after school today, but you're here already." He explained with a large grin. "Dude, when is class going to start the teachers like 40 minutes late already. What's the deal?"

"Oh, I forgot your new here. Our teacher's really crazy. He comes in late every day, and when he finally does get here he hands out work packets from our current lesson and reads porn for the rest of the class period. Not only that, but the guy has silver hair and he's only like 27 or something." Kyuubi thought hard on this for a moment before it all clicked together. 'Kakashi-sensei is going to be our homeroom teacher! Oh dear. '

"That sounds like Kakashi-sensei , doesn't it Kyuu?" Naruto said. He was actually quite happy to see his childhood teacher again. "Sounds like this year is going to be good, huh?" Naruto turned from the window to give his brother what he knew was a taunting smile.

It wasn't that Kakashi Hatake was a bad person, besides his perverse tendencies he was actually a great laid back guy. He just had a habit of patronizing the redhead until he was thoroughly embarrassed or flustered.

"Yea, it's good for you. He freaking loves you." The teen sulked to himself. 'Speak of the one eyed devil.' He grumped as the teacher walked in the room, his visible eye crinkling into a happy 'U' shape upon spotting the teen.

"Oh well if it isn't my favorite twins." He said looking directly looking at Kyuubi who was unsuccessfully trying to morph into the ground. You could tell he was smiling through the mask covering his face.

"Well class if the two by the window haven't introduced themselves already the absolutely delightful one by the window is Naruto. And the one who peed in the bed until he was 6 is Kyuubi Namikaze." He said without changing his facial expression at all. The class shared a collective laugh at the redhead's expense. Everyone thinking along the exact same lines.

'This is gonna be fun.'

(A/N: Same story basically with a different view to it. The same plot more or less. I think it's a better change, I don't know drop me a line and share your view. Also Naruto has multi personality disorder, so he changes personas from time to time. The strange names Kyuubi and everyone else gives Naruto is the Japanese word for his mood/emotion at the time. (If that makes sense) Short chapter I know but my tummy hurts.

(1)Gekido – Fury in Japanese. Refers to Naruto's rather mean personality when someone thoroughly pisses him off. And don't you just hate those types of plane kids.

(2)Yūwaka – Temptation in Japanese. Naruto's sexy side.


	2. New faces oh joy!

Hello it's me again! This is the second chapter in TOAL. I hope you enjoy, and please if you have favorite or put it on your alert I would love to know what you like about it. You could also drop some suggestions about the characters or plot that you find hilarious, or could just help it work out. Thanks.

"Kakashi~" Kyuubi whined, after the socially stunting comment, that his teacher felt the need to share with the general public. Said teacher only smiled with his eyes, also ignoring the lack of honorific.

"I'm so telling Iruka." Naruto only snickered at his brother's childish behavior and the way Kakashi's face grew pale at the mention of their father's name. It was common knowledge between the twins that the silver haired man had a thing for their dad, so this was especially funny. All the other students looked bewildered as their normally reserved and private teacher joke it up with the two boys.

"Now why would you go and do that." He answered in an equally high pitched voice. Kyuubi smirked triumphantly at the fake tears that were rolling down his longtime friends face.

"Um, not to ruin the moment or anything, but don't you have a class to teach Kaka-sensei?" Naruto asked as he continued to stare disinterestedly out of the window at the nippy winds.

"You always ruin my fun, Naru-chan!" He said before walking behind his desk to prepare for the class. "Ok my most beloved salary-payer, let's get started. As some of you may know we've recently been studying old English texts and plays. I have a little project for you. You are to study, summarize, and write an alternate ending for whichever you get. Or instead of writing an ending, you could act out the already made ending, I don't care either way. This is a group project consisting of three members. Now, since there are 28 of you a group of 4 is bound to pop up somewhere." Everyone was about to get up out of their seats to get into separate groups, but the silverette interrupted with a tip.

"Choose wisely on who you want in your group, because you never know when this project might come back to bite you."

Kyuubi was about to suggest that he and Naruto work together, but before the words even came out of his mouth his, and his brother's desks were swarmed with females (and one bold male). The blonde was totally at a loss for words because now he was confused, and all the people around him were starting to make him claustrophobic. He had to stand up just to see all the face in the rush. All he could hear was bubbly airheads trying to be seductive. (Keyword trying, because it clearly wasn't working).

The blonde moved through the crowd with all the grace he could muster and sat beside a broody looking group of teens. The group consisted of a red head that oozed a look-at-me-an-die aura, an extremely pale boy, with short black hair that stuck up in the back, and a long haired brunette, with the whitest eyes. At first glance Naruto thought he was blind, but when the eyes snapped this form he could see this was not the case.

"Hello I'm Naruto and you guys are?"

It took a moment for the boys' brain to stop short-circuiting long enough to understand the question from the hot blonde.

"Uchiha Sasuke, Sabaku Gaara, and I am Hyuuga Neji. Are you going to be joining us for the project?" He asked in that devilishly smooth way that only he could manage. The glare from the others told him all he needed to know. He was going to have a couple of rivals for the heart, of one Uzumaki Naruto.

"Forever the politician I see. And yes if you'll have me." Naruto asked, looking up from under his blonde bangs, and turning his electric blue eyes to the Hyuuga. A light blush spread across the nose of the usually stoic teen as Naruto gently nibbled on his plump bottom lip.

"O-of course." Naruto turned to the raven on his right with the same look, but almost ten times more intense.

"You'll have me right Sasuke?" The Uchiha could only nod dumbly, as thousands of scenarios popped into his mind about that tempting mouth.

"Gaara-kun?" And then those eyes turned to him. The famously stoic teen found himself trapped in those deep pools of indigo. The blonde sniffled as if about to cry and his pouty lower lip started to tremble. For some reason the redhead didn't want to see the blonde cry so he did what his mother would do if she was still alive. He gave him a hug.

Sasuke, and Neji were at a loss for words as they gaped at their friend. They were at a mix between being jealous and scared. This was the first time Gaara let someone so close to him, without their immediate dismemberment. And now this blonde was not only in his breathing area, but hugging the murderous teenager. Not to mention that he was also sitting in his lap being petted like some lost kitten.

xXx

Kyuubi blinked at the dangerous tension that suddenly filled a corner of the room. He looked over to Kiba for an explanation, and the wild brunette pointed over to the back of the room where his brother was sitting in some strange redhead's lap while two broody bastards sat idle doing what they did best, brood.

Kakashi was sitting behind his desk with his feet propped up staring at the little angst filled teens. Amusement was evident under his mask as the green eyed teen continued to pet the sniffling teen. He should probably stop whatever was happening before it even started, but… he was having fun writing down the names of his favorite blonde's growing fanclub.

xXx

Naruto was thoroughly enjoying the warm lap that was oh so courteously given, by his self-appointed panda-chan. The stroking of his golden hair wasn't that bad either. A little voice in the back of his head told him that staying in his current seat was going to cause more problems than he needed at the current moment.

He climbed back over the redhead's desk and plopped back into his seat. Gaara smirked at his two friends, and rivals in love as they sulked even harder now that the blonde was blushing.

"Well I guess we should be getting started." Naruto said as he tried to lessen the tension between everyone at the table.

"Indeed." They replied in unison

xXx

"Pst." Naruto whisper/yelled to the raven sitting directly beside him. The other teens looked on amusedly as the Uchiha was continuously assaulted with questions from the adorably annoying blonde.

"What?" He asked with irritation clear in his voice. If the blonde noticed it he didn't show it. Naruto pointed a single tanned digit to a corner of the room where a pink haired girl was chatting amiably with a ditzy looking blonde girl. The raven scowled in disgust when he saw the figurative hearts in his classmate's eyes.

"Who's that?" Neji, and Gaara gave the pinkette in question the strongest glare they could come up with. Since they obviously couldn't kill her in class, they could settle for strangling her in their minds. How dare that wench still their entire blonde's attention span? It wasn't fair! They saw him first. Green eyes caught white, and in that one glance they formed a truce against the pink bimbo.

"That things name is Haruno Sakura." He said with all the distaste in his body. Naruto turned around huffily in his seat.

"That was totally unnecessary teme! Not to mention extremely mean! Do you even know her? She seems like a really nice girl. Not to mention pretty too." He said dreamily, turning back around to stare some more. The raven's lips moved upwards into a silent snarl as he watched his classmate.

"That thing is no girl. She might look normal on the outside, but under all that make up, and gross perfume is a human she-monster." He said trying to repress a shudder at the thought. As if realizing her crush was thinking about her the previously discussed mentioned monster pinned the Uchiha with her mint green eyes. Her heart shaped face lit up as she dreamed that the glare on his features was actually a look of longing.

'_Oh, Sasuke I want to have your babies .Mrs. Sasuke Uchiha. Mrs. Sakura Haruno-Uchiha. Oh I know Mrs. Sakura Uchiha. Yes, yes of course! That way everyone knows that he's mine. In your face Ino-pig. Suck on that! Do you see how he's looking at me! He wants to jump my bones; he's undressing me with his eyes. Look all you want Sasuke-kun, I don't mind. Wait who's that loser sitting by my Sasuke-kun? And why is he looking at me. Do something Sasuke-kun! He's staring at your woman!'_

"Oh, I'm sure you're overreacting. I bet she's not that bad, maybe a little psychotic looking, but its what's in the inside teme."

"You don't know the half of it." Neji muttered as he scribbled some more things in his notebook. He being the only one besides Gaara that was actually paying attention and working. He watched as Naruto sighed wistfully before going back to his assignment. The white eyed teen felt a little disappointed that the blonde was interested in the Haruno, but he hadn't seen her true disillusioned colors yet. He actually wondered if the blonde was only interested in the opposite sex, considering that episode with Matsuri this morning. But then again he did snuggle up with Gaara for a nice 15 minutes. He still found that surprising. Maybe he would test the little cute teen's orientation later. Yes, that sounds good. Now all he has to do is pry Sabaku, and the Uchiha's hands off first. He discreetly surveyed them when they weren't looking. Sasuke was trying to melt the pinkette's skin off her face, and Gaara was attempting to make his paper spontaneously combust. His mission just got considerably harder.

xXx

Kyuubi slowly rose out of his seat, gathering his things and walking over towards the emo corner. Or so he dubbed it. His twin was chatting away to the other teenagers that seemed like they weren't paying that much attention, though Kyuubi could tell differently.

"Naru." The blonde head swiveled to hid direction, showing the redhead that he had his undivided attention (as undivided as it could be considering that Naruto was having an identity crisis). "What class do you have next? I have gym with Kiba."

"Oh let me see." He dug around in his uniform pants until he phished his locator card out. "Well I have trigonometry with a Yuhi-sensei. Whoever that is." He said with an irritated huff. He hated math. He absolutely loathed the existence of it.

"I can take you there." Neji said. "My calculus class is in the same wing." The blonde turned his huge dinner plate eyes to his duplicate questioningly. Once he got the nod of approval he then proceeded to drag the brunette away from the currently sulking teens. Kyuubi turned to the others that were left behind

"Look bastards, I know that you both are somewhat attracted to my brother, but let me tell you something. He's not really like you and I. He's different than us. So don't be surprised if he doesn't remember you or he comes back differently than when he left." They both gave him the silent question stare (raised eyebrow) that they were used to doing when they didn't understand.

"I'm not going to tell you what I mean, because you'll find out soon enough. That of course meaning if you're going to stay his friend. But if you hurt him in any way, as his big brother I'm obligated to kick your ass. I hope you understand that it's only fair. Ja ne!" He called over his shoulder as he walked away to tend to his own business.

xXx

Naruto was still dragging the brunette down the hall (no that he minded) as he searched for his class. He sometimes took the directions the brunette gave him, when he got to an unfamiliar area. Neji was wondering exactly when to make his move, but he didn't need to think about it because in his moment of inner thoughts the blonde had led them to a dead end.

The totally unaware blonde was startled when two hands came on either side of his head. He yelped in a very unmanly way before turning around to give his best glare (which is the equivalent of a puppy sneezing) to the smirking brunette behind him.

"Neji what are you doing?" He asked voice wavering only slightly.

"Nothing at all Naru-chan. I just wanted to see what you looked like really close up." He breath fanned across the blushing teen's face.

"Well are you done looking yet?" The white eyed teen shook his head and moved his face even closer. "Well, whad'dya see?" He asked, trying to get the Hyuuga to back up.

"Your eyes," _they're beautiful.' _ He finished in his head.

"Well now that you've got a good look at my eyes could you give me some space to breathe?" He asked with a huff of indignation, trying to stop the flushing of his cheeks. The brunette just smirked at him before turning heel, and walking away. Neji knew that the blonde was going to follow him, so there was no need to wait for the red faced teen.

"Um, ok." Naruto finished along lamely. The brunette didn't show any response to the retort besides a pale hand that directed the blonde to the class he was assigned.

"Well this is where our journey ends, I'll see you around Naruto." The blonde waved enthusiastically to the teen's back as he walked into a separate class down the hallway.

"Fuck." Naruto said as his eyes gave off that familiar sting. He braced his hands on the wall, trying to keep himself from falling because of his sudden light headedness. Vibrant colors swirled around violently, mixing and blending all of his surroundings. He saw a mixture of faces, some looking concerned, others gossiping about the 'high kid' that came to school today.

The pain behind his eyes eased up just enough so that the blonde could gather his bearings and walk into class. As expected everyone's eyes flew to the new kid trying to figure out who he was by appraising his clothes.

(A/N: Perspective change!)

I tried to ignore all the looks everyone kept giving me, but it was hard. It was like they were looking at every pore in my skin. Like I was some experiment on display for their entertainment. Not to mention that I was a little lost right now. I barely remember how I got in this classroom in front of all these people. All I can remember are the silhouettes of a couple of faces this morning. But I think they hold some significance so far.

'_Is that Kurenai-sensei?' _ Wow it's been forever since I've seen her. I had no idea she worked here. I went up to the board where she was currently writing complicated formulas and gave her a hug from behind. It's not as its sounds, so get your mind out of the gutter!

"N-Naruto? Is that you?" After she realized that it was in fact 'me' she then decided to squeeze me to death in her boobs also. What's with women and death by boobal asphyxiation? (A/N: Hehehe new word!)

"Oh my, it is! How have you been? Last I heard you and your brother were off in America!" Oh I loved it when pretty ladies gushed over me. And by the grin that spread over my face I'm guessing the other students noticed it too.

"Yes well, I really wanted to graduate and go to college in my hometown. And Kyuubi didn't seem to care." The practiced lie rolled off my tongue like water on glass. She really wasn't that close to my inner circle to know the truth. Hell, she probably wouldn't understand at all.

"Well that's good I suppose." She gave me another hug before directing me to an empty seat in the back of the class. I don't know why teachers did that. It was strange really. It's like they totally ignored the glasses on my face. Oh, I know what it is. They think since I have glasses that I have freaking superhuman sight. If that was the case then why the hell would I need glasses in the first place? Idiots! The whole lot! But, I really can't complain; Kurenai-sensei sat me next to a really pretty girl.

Her long brown hair was in a messy bun with two white chopsticks in it. Her uniform seemed way more conservative, but sexy none the less. I went to sit by her and she didn't seem fazed at all. I came to the conclusion that I was really starting to like her.

"Hello my name's Uzumaki Naruto." I said to her extending my hand. Her dainty fingers covered mine and I brought the pale appendage to my lips softly, never breaking eye contact. The red tinge on her face was reward enough for my valiant effort at charming.

"My name's Haku, and I'm a boy." She-I mean He said. I could tell he was reading my reactions, and I'm guessing that my saucer eyes weren't really helping at all. I guess this happened to him often. But, then again he was wearing a skirt.

"Well my dearest Haku you are extremely pretty for a boy. And I must say that I am most pleased to make your acquaintance." Oh yeah, I'm laying it on thick, but he doesn't seem to mind. Wow is that blush going away any time today? I'm starting to worry about the blood for his head.

"Thank you, Uzumaki-san." Wow, being back in Japan is really giving me some major culture shock. In America we never used formalities. I can't remember the last time someone called me that.

"Please call me Naruto, and no formalities. I'd like to think we were some type of friends now." He really looked shocked. Did I offend him? I hope not!

"L-like a precious person?" He asked in an extremely cute way. Or at least I thought so.

"Yep, like a precious person!" I exclaimed brightly. I looked around and noticed that everyone was already doing some problem on the board. Ugh, here we go.

xXx

"Kiba… I don't… think… I could… do this… everyday…" Kyuubi panted to his best friend who had also collapsed on the grass next to him. The redhead had just finished his 15 laps around the campus, and that was just the warm up to their activities for the day.

"Che, and you didn't believe me when I said our gym teacher was borderline sadistic." The dog was on all fours desperately trying to get the much needed oxygen into his lungs.

The two teens had been trying to keep up with the teacher's favorite student who looked like his double in all ways. The boy didn't wear the assigned gym uniform of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, but instead he wore a full body jumpsuit. His clothing choice wasn't the only thing wrong with his appearance, his face was also another strange piece to the puzzle of strangeness. His hair was bowl cut to the tee and bushy black eyebrows framed extremely round eyes. Now all of this could be overlooked. You can see even stranger people on the subway in New York at midnight. That wasn't the problem, his personality was.

The boy named Lee, was even worse than Naruto during one of his most annoying times. Kyuubi swore that if he heard one more cry of youth or joy he was going to a rusty pike to stick in his ears.

"Kiba, remind me later to punch you in the throat." The brunette laughed hollowly as he got off the ground, and pulled his companion up too.

"Alright students pair up, because it's time for some rugby!"

"Kiba I'm almost afraid to ask what rugby is." Kyuubi groaned.

"Extreme football." The wild brunette answered in an almost stricken voice. He snapped out of it when he heard the teacher's pet gushing over the extreme sport.

"OH GAI-SENSEI!"

"OH LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

'_oh indeed.'_

xXx

"Well we've gotten everything done that needed to be done today. Are there any questions? No? Ok the last twenty minutes can be spent doing homework or talking amongst your selves." Kurenai-sensei said. Math had been nice today, not only was Haku a nice piece of eye candy/motivation, he was also helpful. He assisted me on problems when I got stuck if the teacher was busy with someone else.

"So Haku you're not from around here, are you?" I asked, trying to make some light conversation lest our interactions get awkward.

"Um no, I moved here from Kiri about a year and a half ago, with my uncle. What gave it away?" His tone suggested that he was genuinely curious.

"Your eyes have more of a soft upwards angle than most people that were born here. So the land of water, how was it living there?" Is he blushing again? Damn, I'm good.

"It was ok, but I like living here better. It doesn't rain as much, and it's not as humid either."

"It's nice that you like it here, because I can't say I wouldn't be sad if you wanted to go back." I replied with that dazzling smile I was known for. And… there goes the blush. I'm starting to really like that.

"Have you fully explored all the wonders that this huge city has to offer?"

"No, I really haven't had anyone to show me, and my uncle says I'm too 'delicate' to go exploring. Whatever that means." The last part came out as grumble that completely floored me. I was laughing so hard that Kurenai-sensei had come over to see if I was having a mental breakdown. I just never thought that could come out of sweet little Haku's mouth. I guess you learn new things every day.

"Hm, that's too bad, but if you can convince your uncle to do it I could show you around. You could also meet my brother too. Well, if you'd like." His eyes were wide and hopeful, like I just gave him the last bowl of ramen ever. Not that I would do that. It'd be a cold day in hell when I voluntarily give someone ramen. I had to look away from his soulful brown eyes, because they were making me uncomfortable.

"Oh I would love that!" He practically dove over out of his seat to hug me. Of course I returned it awkwardly.

"Wait, you have a brother?" I nodded. "Well what's he look like, maybe I could meet him during lunch."

"Well, he's almost as good looking as me." He giggled, how cute. "Basically he's my duplicate, were twins, but his hair is really red, and his eyes are a lighter blue. The idiot got all the freaking height genes, while I got the good looks. Naturally of course." Aren't I modest?

"You should be able to meet him during lunch. We might go off campus, because I've made a vow to never eat school food ever." A shudder went through my body involuntarily as I relived the horrid nightmare that is school food.

"Why not?" He asked, as curious as ever.

"Long story." I sighed.

xXx

"And so the food went sailing through the air, not to mention that is was sloppy Joe day and it landed right in his hair, and on his shirt!" My idiot brother exclaimed to Haku as we (Kiba, Kyuubi, Haku, and I) rolled to a little ramen shop close to the school's campus.

The long haired brunette laughed in his delicate manner as the two brash idiots in the front seats laughed as hard as they could at my expense. That day happened to be the worst picture day in history. American school lunches sucked balls. I'm glad that he didn't mention that the reddish/brown slop crusted onto to my shirt and wouldn't flake or wash off.

It kind of surprised me how well Kyuubi, and Kiba hit it off with Haku. They took to him pretty well, they didn't even have one of their famous idiot 'what' moments when he revealed his true gender. So I'm actually kind of proud of them.

We pulled up to the little diner with a squeak from the tires, and we all climbed out of the vehicle. We entered the quaint little eatery and grabbed a booth. Haku was still a little timid around the both of them so he sat by me.

Ayame, my favorite waiter, and the owners daughter came over and took our orders (not to mention hug me to death. Yay boobs!) She was a cute girl after all, so I didn't mind her crushing hug. I don't think Kyuubi minded either. She gave a hug to Kiba also when the idiot started to pout and whine like the dog everyone knows he is.

Ten minutes later came my six bowls of ramen to everyone else's. What? I haven't had good homemade ramen for three years! That's a really long time! Believe it. Haku looked a little disgusted, but he seemed to enjoy himself regardless of what a pig I am.

"So, Naruto met any cute faces yet?" Kyuubi asked in his naturally goofy way.

"I guess you could say that." I glanced subtly at Haku, others wouldn't have seen it, but Kyuubi and I have created a speechless language over the years. "And I remember some faces, but the names and specific features escape me." He and Kiba knew what I was referring to. Haku didn't need to know yet.

"Hm, did one have long chestnut hair and white eyes without pupils?" I nodded.

"…Hyuuga Neji, short black hair that went up in the back in a stupid hairstyle?" Another nod. "…Uchiha Sasuke, and one more with blood red hair, green eyes, and a red tattoo."

"Sabaku Gaara. Be wary little brother they seem to have a crush on you." I rolled my eyes, not even trying to hide it. It seems since the day I hit puberty, every hot blooded male wants to jump my bones. My brother's just paranoid, which is totally understandable considering our situation over the three years, but still.

"Haku may I ask you a question? You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I said. This question had been pestering all through math and lunch.

"Sure." He said.

"Why do you wear skirts instead of pants even though you're a boy?"

"I think I'm more comfortable in skirts, besides everyone thinks I'm a girl no matter what apparel I wear. The faculty doesn't care either way, so long as I'm not causing trouble." That kind of made sense, I guess.

"You must have to beat the boys off with a stick then." Kiba commented.

"Not everyone's a dog like you Kibbles." I said. Ah, witty comedy; you got to love it.

"Well they aren't too much of a problem now. My uncle taught me martial arts since I was little. When one guy gets beat up by the 'pretty girl' in school then everyone knew to steer clear." He finished with a little evil smile. I never would have guessed it.

"Wow that's cool. That means you and I can spar once in a while. It's been three years, and I'm out of practice." Haku's blush spread over his nose and cheeks when I smiled at him. Oh yeah, its official, I'm smoking hot!

xXx

The school day went on without any new exciting events happening. My last class of the day was biology, but all was well and my teacher was pretty awesome too. He was an old teacher of mine when I was in elementary.

Kyuubi and I told each other about our day as we road home in our car. I thought his gym hour was pretty funny, but he hit me when I laughed, which resulted in a ten minute slap fight when we pulled into the driveway.

So far the week had started off pretty nice, I'll just have to see if I can keep it that way.

Thanks for reading the 2nd chapter of TOAL. I really appreciate it. Please read and review or drop a suggestion in a personal message or review.


	3. Confusing Confessions

Ok, I'm back for the 3rd chapter of TOAL, which I think is great. And thank you kumori hunter, sraylight66, and I'd also like to thank the community My favorite stories 3 for adding me. Please read and review the chapter or story if you have any questions or suggestions. It is definitely appreciated.

"Naruto, what would you say if I said I thought you were really cute?" Haku asked me. He wasn't looking me in the eye which I found strange. It's been almost a month already; I thought he was at least somewhat comfortable around me. The question in itself is strange, but I'm kind of strange anyway.

We were standing outside of the school waiting for school to start. The brunette was standing in front of me awkwardly with his head down. People were buzzing all around us, busily chatting away with their friends. Kyuubi was just with us, but left after Haku whispered something in his ear. What he said, I have no idea, but the conversation ended with a blushing brunette and a winking idiot.

"Um, I'd say that you were really cute too." Well it is true. It's only polite to give out a compliment if someone gave you one, but Haku kept blushing like that and it was making me feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, t-that's nice. Um, Naruto I was wondering, would you-" Before Haku got to finish whatever he was going to ask, Kiba came barreling into me. I barely managed to keep my balance. How could I when you have 165 pounds running full speed in your direction?

After I pried the wild animal off me I hit him as hard as I could on the top of his head. The results were immediate as the feral brunette fell to the ground, cradling his head in the fetal position. I almost started to laugh, but then I remembered Haku, who was still in front of me.

"Sorry for the interruption Haku. Now what were you saying?" I tried to straighten my snug uniform of wrinkles, but to no avail. I was startled to find a hint of panic in his soulful brown eyes. He shook his head quickly and scampered off to wherever he goes when he wants to be alone. He tends to do that a lot, so I'm not too worried about him right now. Right now, I'm kinda pissed of the idiot on the ground that interrupted Haku. I crouched down on the ground, giving the sweetest smile I could.

This is an interrogation act that I learned from an old friend of Kakashi-sensei. His name was Ibiki, and he was hands down the creepiest guy I had ever met in my then at the time 10 years of life. Besides the man's facial scarring, everything else about him scared the crap out of me.

"Now Kiba dear, please tell me why you felt the need to tackle me this morning." His adam's apple bobbed up and down, and I could tell he was quivering in fear. Good to know I haven't lost my touch. Ibiki-san would be proud.

"Um well, I uh gotta go." He shot off like a rocket, trying to get away from I suppose. On any other day I would have chased him, but today I just felt drained. You know that period of time after you get to a new school. At first you're really excited to meet new people, and new teachers. It's really a blast. But then you start to get used to it and all the glamour you that was there starts to tarnish and the under layer shows. It really sucks when that happens, but its life.

I got off the ground seconds before the first bell rang everyone that was still in the courtyard, filed out to go to their respective classes. Today was the 2nd block schedule so the lineup was different from that of Monday, and Tuesday. After Kakashi-sensei's class I had history, and foreign languages.

As I made my way to my favorite teacher's classroom I ran into one of the many familiar faces I became familiar with. His name was Sai, and he was a bit creepy, but you couldn't go to school here and not be. Or so I've heard.

"Hi dickless." Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that he's extremely vulgar, and brutally honest whether you wanted to know or not. I waved at him and kept walking. I knew he was going to follow me (even if I didn't want him to). He was actually a nice guy, albeit emotionally stunted and socially awkward, but I'm going to work with him on it. I blame all his problems on his father. I didn't know him personally, but from the little I did get Sai to admit his father, Councilmen Danzo kept him locked in the house until he was 13. The only human interaction he had was with his tutors which I doubt actually talked to him.

"Hello Sai, how are you this morning?" My question lacked the general enthusiasm it usually did, but then again so did I.

"I'm fine." He said with that fake smile he usually has. I sighed out loud to voice my displeasure to him.

"Sai, please work with me here. If you don't feel like smiling then don't. You might think that smiling at everything helps, but masking your problems only makes them worst in the end. So don't. Ok? I got to go. See ya!" I walked in the class room leaving him out in the hallway. I ignored all the girls' stares as I made my way over to the 'emo corner' or so my brother called.

"Gaara, Sasuke, and Neji; As punctual as ever I see." They didn't even bother with acknowledging my teasing (as I was used to it).

"What did Sai want?" Sasuke said. See Sasuke was the most emotional of the trio. He always blew his lid when I riled him up enough, which I find hilarious. He was pretty hot if I do say so myself, but almost everyone I hung out with was. Hm, strange. His skin was extremely pale, but his black hair, and dark clothes, made a nice combination. He had the deepest brown eyes; they were so deep that they almost look black in the right lighting.

"Oh he just wanted to say hi, and bye." I sat in the seat in front of Sasuke, and in between Gaara and Neji. Absolutely no one sat in this seat, because the glares from the 'emo trio' would have made them crap themselves.

"Oh, that's surprisingly nice of him. You sure he wasn't being inappropriate?" Neji asked. Oh, I love Neji. He's always insanely worried about me. It's kind of cute, because he gets all red in the face and his white eyes turn silver with little twinkles in them.

"Neji calm down. He can't help it. That's just his way, so no worries." He then proceeded to try and peel the paint in the room with his glare. It was just so cute that I had to pinch his cheeks. I don't think he appreciated that, but I didn't care.

"Hn." Gaara snorted. Gaara, my red headed watchdog. Gaara was really different from Neji, and Sasuke. He only spoken when he found it necessary, which I found boring, but when he did speak he usually said something funny or threatening. But I knew firsthand that he was a brownie. I say brownie because under his nutty topping and crunchy glaze, there laid a soft and warm center. Not to mention that he likes chocolate, like a lot. Like so much so that he would willingly molest a fat guy if he had even a square of chocolate in his back pocket.

"So are we done with the 20 questions?" After they finished giving me disapproving looks we got to work on a new project that was assigned to our group. We technically didn't have to start now since the teacher wasn't here, but our groups were full of over achievers (me included). The project this week was to create an original short story that has a morbid twist in it. I thought it was kind of funny because all my partners are sort of morbid. They didn't really find it that funny when I told them, but what do they know?

xXx

"Do you think we could put Sasuke-kun in our story?" Sakura Haruno asked her group. The group consisted of Namikaze Kyuubi, and one Inuzuka Kiba. Normally the girl wouldn't have even dreamed of being in a group of what she considered Neanderthals, but she was a girl on a mission. She was trying to get in the good graces of the redhead, because his twin was close to her Sasuke-kun.

"No." They both said with an exasperated voice. That was the ninth time she had asked something Uchiha related. The two teens didn't even want to be in a group with her for this project, but they couldn't turn the girl away after she had asked them specifically. Not to mention she was a pretty smart girl when she wasn't Uchiha crazy.

"How about we ask your brother if he has any spare ideas he could loan us. Maybe we could bounce ideas of each other." Kiba suggested, like the redhead he was also getting tired of the pinkette. He looked at said pinkette when her eyes glittered like she had just won the prize.

"My dear Watson that may have been the best idea you have come up with all morning."

"Why do I have to be Watson? I want to be The Sherlock Holmes to your Watson." Kiba whined. Kyuubi just rolled his eyes before calling over to his blonde counterpart.

I looked over to where my idiot twin was calling my name, like the idiot he was. 'What?' I lipped. He didn't reply. He just waved at me to come here. I figured that it had something to do with the project so I decided that I would help him.

"Umm, I'll be back guys, carry on." I said.

Kyuubi and Kiba immediately leaned over to whisper in my ear and share the predicament.

"Dude, we are so screwed, while you and the brain troop are over there getting A's, your brother and I have been dying."

"Oh, Kibbles, I'm sure it's not as bad as you make it seem." I said, trying to lighten the mood. Anytime last week I would've ignored him in favor of the girl in front of me, but that crush was shortly lived. I found out how shallow she was, when I asked her out for some ramen one day. The girl bored me to death when she told me about how her heart only beat for Sasuke's good looks. Not to mention that her skirt was always shorter than school regulation. That tight piece of cloth just screamed open invitation to me.

"No it is. Every other sentence out of her mouth is about that duck butt emo guy you hang with. Come on you got to help us with some ideas or something." I sighed, knowing this was going to happen.

"Ok let's get down to it then." I said loud enough so that Sakura could hear me. The two teens round me scooted back, grinning triumphantly like they just convinced me to do something that I was already going to do.

"What do you guys have so far?" Kyuubi opened his mouth to say something, but Sakura beat him to the punch.

"Well we have Sasuke-kun set up for the main character." She said so dreamily that it made my stomach turn. I gave her the sternest glare I could, which is saying something relating to who my group consisted of.

"Excuse me, but I don't think the others in your group agreed with that seeing as how their looking right now. You all have to agree or your story is going to be shitty." She looked offended, good. I'm not taking debate for nothing. I could feel the smugness from the teenagers beside me as the girl gaped like a fish. It made me feel great. I linked my hands together on the desk to complete my intimidating posture.

"Who cares what you think?" She yelled.

"Apparently your partner's since they called me over here. So instead of wasting all our time, with your bratty tantrums we could be working on your project." My brother and the mutt had to hold their hands in front of their face to keep from laughing as I gave Sakura a good scolding like her parents should have a long time ago.

"Don't you have your own project to finish, instead of meddling in affairs that have nothing to do with you. Sasuke-kun was right when he said you were a dobe."

"Not that it's any of your business, but my group and I have already finished our story, were busy working on our second one. It's going pretty good though. And when Sasuke, said that it was in a joking manner, but you wouldn't know that would you? You haven't even been close enough to smell his shampoo, yet alone hear what he says. Or have you? You know, stalkers are a turn off Sakura-chan." The snickers gradually got louder, until it was full blown laughter.

"Now that, that's out of the way," I turned in my seat until I was partially faced away from the irate pinkette.

"First you need to build up a plot, with one main character, instead of trying to think up a whole crew by yourself. Now the theme of the project is that it has to be a morbid horror story, or it has to have a scary turn of events at the end. Now I think that all three of you could do that if you worked together. Its' not that hard really, just try to find some common ground. Kay?"

I got up without waiting for an answer. I really did think they could pull it off, despite the totally unharmonious feeling he got whenever he was over there.

"What required your attendance over there?" The Hyuuga asked. I sighed, shaking my head and sitting down. I really didn't feel liking relaying that troubling incident.

"So how was the she-monster? Horrible I hope." The smugness in Sasuke's voice was extremely irritating at the moment, and it wasn't helping my headache at all. That prick. I didn't even grace his comment with a response as I laid my head down on my desk and imitated a new friend of mine. I slept.

xXx

(A/N: Sasuke-centric view.)

Sasuke Uchiha. Star student, soccer captain, loving brother, and freaking annoyed. The reason for said annoyance? Sakura Haruno. The girl was like a freaking leech. No matter how brutally he rejected her she still came back the next day and attached herself to him and fed on his life force.

"Oh Sasuke-kun today was so horrible!" She harped in his ear. They were supposed to be doing homework, in their study hall, but this thing kept talking to him. "You know that Uzumaki loser?"

He perked up at this, glaring at the little pink head of air. She must have taken this as an agreement or something because she looked extremely pleased with herself.

"Well, today during that project thing in Kakashi-sensei's class you know the one. Well, the two idiots in my group decided that they didn't like my totally awesome idea, so they got that loser instead. And that weirdo had the balls to tell me that my idea sucked. I mean who does he think he is talking to me like that? Right Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn. You probably said something stupid enough to warrant him saying something to you." And with that he turned and moved to another table.

Short, short, I know, but I'm out of inspiration for this piece, but the next chapter is going to delve deeper into Gaara's life. The reason being is that he is still a potential winner to Naru's heart. I'm still on the fence about creating a poll for them though. But you can vote now by sending in reviews or such.

Candidates: Neji, Gaara, Sasuke, Itachi, Haku, Kimimaro, Sai, or someone you suggest.


	4. Gaara say wha?

Hello again my lovelies! Fourth chapter of TOAL is here on my nonexistent schedule! I know the last chapter kind of sucked, but I hope this makes up for it. I'm going to start getting into the characters back stories, which I'm hoping won't take more than a chapter or two. Thanks to **NarutoSPsyren**, **Melikalily** and **yukiyuki-chan-nya**, for your awesome reviews, and subscription.

Kyuubi sighed as he watched his brother zip around the house like some sort of drug addict. This was one of the characters he really could care less for. Haipā**(1) **was definitely not his favorite right now. Especially when it's currently 5a.m. and you're trying to sleep, but can't because there's a figurative little gnat buzzing around your head.

"C'mon, c'mon! Its perfect time for a run! Why are you so lazy? Come run with me!" The blonde whined to the huddled mass under the blankets. A messy head of hair accompanied with a sleepy expression finally came up from the blankets to glare heatedly at the fidgety blonde.

"Naruto, please explain to me why you need to go running at 5 in the morning on a Saturday? The morning drug addicts and meter maids aren't even up this early. Didn't you stay up all night yesterday working on some sort of project?" The lethargic teen asked.

"Uh huh, uh huh! But Naru wants to run now! C'mon, c'mon!" (A/N: Inspiration for this character came from our dearest Akatsuki member Tobi! )

"Naruto how about you go running and I'll meet you in about 4 hours, give or take. Sounds good?" If the redhead wasn't under the influence of sleep he would have realized what a horrible idea this was. Like seriously, who sends their little brother out into the world when their like this? No one does.

"Ok, Naru will go run around until aniki shows up!"

"Grab a jacket [yawn]." The redhead ducked back under the covers and then proceeded to nap.

The blonde nodded vigorously, even though the redhead couldn't see, and left the room. He sprinted down the hallway and into his room, where he then proceeded to tear the room apart, looking for his orange hoodie to go over his black workout shirt.

Naruto raced down the stairs to the kitchen to grab an apple and his already packed drawstring bag. Blue sky's greeted him as he exited the house. Starting off with a steady jog the blonde took off down the street.

'_Ok, where to now. Gotta go! Gotta go! Oh, look a birdie! Hi birdie! Are you going to sing today? That's so cool! But I can't stay Mrs. Birdie I gotta go! Gotta go! But… where to? Hey look there's Yamashita-san! And snowball-chan _(cat)_! But snowball-chans so mean! Don't hiss at me! Little furry demon! Bye Yamashita-san! Okay! Keep going! Focus! Focus! Oh, a pretty flower! Naruto! Focus!' _(A/N: I dont know, kinda thought it was funny.)

The blonde kept jogging until he came to a clearing. The area was filled with play equipment, but at five in the morning the kids that were supposed to fill it were not present. To Naruto the park looked deserted and depressing. Wiping the sweat from his brow the blonde entered the clear park, sitting on a nearby bench, and breathing deeply. The air was indeed chilly, and it cooled the droplets of water on his skin, making him shiver like a leaf in a windstorm. He rose from the bench, walking around the park until he came to a slide. He was about to climb on when a familiar pain shot behind his eyelids.

xXx

I looked around my surroundings confusedly as I tried to figure out where the hell I was. I'm so tired of this freaking disease. You have absolutely no idea, how scary it is to open your eyes and not know where you are. It is beyond terrifying. The only thing that I can make out is that I've been running, and that I'm in a little place outside Konoha. As I continue to walk around all the equipment in the park I come across some more benches towards the back, where everything is hidden from the road that runs down the middle.

"What is that?" I say to myself as I come across a lumpy mass on a bench. I'm a little wary about approaching it because it's shivering so there has to be something alive there. But what is it? An animal? Your average day hobo? I don't want anything to attack me while I'm out here.

I walk a little closer to the 'thing' only stop dead in my tracks. There's only one person I know that has red hair and a red tattoo on their forehead. It's Gaara! But before I wake him I notice how blue his lips were and the bruises on his neck and face. He's been abused.

I gently shook him awake not wanting to startle him. I didn't know where his mind was at the time, so I didn't want to upset him further.

"Gaara, wake up." Nothing happened. I tried a little harder this time. "Gaa-"

Before I could utter the last syllable I was spun on the ground, hand behind my back, and knee digging into my spine. _'Ok, that was a stupid move.' _Naruto Uzumaki's list of things to never do again: Rule# 326 Don't ever wake a sleeping Gaara.

"Gaara, Gaara it's me Naruto." I turn my head to the side so he could see my face, and not try to kill me. The pressure let up gradually until I was completely free. Green eyes stared at me impassively as if the owners of the eyes didn't just try to kill me. I take a seat back on the bench, patting a spot next to me for him to take. Eventually he sat, but the intense stare didn't let up one bit.

"What are you doing here, Uzumaki?" Hm, good question.

"I'd tell you if I knew my own self. But the better question is why are you here?"

"Hn." I knew he was going to say that. He's staring ahead now. Usually he's the one protecting me, but right now he needs me even if he doesn't realize it yet. He looks so lost right now, like he's carrying the world's weight on his shoulders. I know that look. I saw it in the mirror every day for 3 years.

"You're hurt."

"Hn." I knew this was all I was going to get out of him. If he didn't want to talk about it right now then we wouldn't… yet. I pulled off my orange sweatshirt and handed it to him. He looked at the hand quizzically, but made no move to take it.

"Put it on, your cold. Don't worry about me I have another one." I dug into my pack and pulled out my insulated windbreaker. Hey! Don't judge. You never know when the heavens will open up and pee on you! And those sweatshirts don't repel water at all.

After five minutes of glaring at my hand he stiffly put on the item. It didn't help though. You could still see how blue his lips were. He needed to warm up, and as much as he tolerated me, I don't think he's the type for hugs.

I got off the bench, holding a hand out (which I knew would be ignored) for him to take. His movement wasn't as fluid as they should have been when he rose from the hard metal.

"Follow me, and I'm not taking hn (no) for an answer." With my little sentences done I turned towards the exit, which was located on the other side of the park. He followed behind silently, but I was too caught up in my own thoughts.

Who would do that to him? And why was he sleeping on a bench in the park? I knew he was there all night because he was sleeping very deeply, and he told me once before that he was an insomniac. So he must have gotten kicked out of his house or something, unless he left on his own volition. He could have escaped after he got beat up? Did he even get abused? I could just be jumping to conclusions. He might've just gotten into a bad fight at some sort of club, but the legal age to get into a club is 21 isn't it? Fake I.D., duh!

By time I'm done with my rambling I realize a couple of things. One: Were back in town, two: its way later than when I think I left, and three: I'm hungry and there's a café just calling my name down the street. I look behind me to see that Gaara is still behind in my orange sweater with his eyes elsewhere. His skin was a little peachier than what it was, but his normally pale color was ever present.

I made my way to the warm looking café, mouth already anticipating the hot chocolate that just has to be there. Right?

xXx

"So are you going to tell me why you were sleeping at the park?" I asked the redhead that sat across from me in the booth we shared. The comfy café was a rich burgundy shade that just made everything feel better. The hot chocolate in my palm warming me up further than what I already was. I insisted that Gaara get something, because I knew he was still cold, and didn't have any money. Apparently the more aware part of my brain made my crazy side (whoever that was today) pack almost all my essentials. I say all because for some reason I can't find my cell phone.

"Hn." Wow big surprise.

"Gaara if you want help you're going to have to tell me." I must have struck something within him because for the next minute he glared his hardest at me.

"And who said I needed your help, Uzumaki?" His tone was low and dangerous, but I've never backed down from something, and I wasn't about to start. He could hate me all he wanted to after we were through talking.

"I do. You want to know why? Because people usually don't sleep on park benches in the freezing cold covered in bruises." I shot back. It went on like this for some time, back and forth, continuously until I tried to appeal to his softer side. (A/N: C'mon we all know it's in there. Somewhere deep, deep, deep down in there.)

"Gaara, you don't have to tell me whatever your situation is or who beat you up, but I would like to know eventually. I care about you a lot. Your one of my precious people, and I don't want to lose you." He grunted again , but I could tell he was contemplating on telling me or not. I wasn't going to push it though. We sat there in relative silence until he broke it.

"My father kicked me out." I nodded.

"So you haven't any where to go?" He shook his head, eyes still fixated on the table. "Great!" He looked at me crazily, but I was too caught up in my next sentence to focus on anything. "You know I always wanted someone other than my brother to bug at all times of the day." Realization dawned on his face a couple of seconds later. I was afraid my face was going to burst open from the huge smile I wore.

"Naruto, I don't think your father would agree to that." He said lowly.

"He's going to agree to it because I'm going to make him. You're a friend in need and I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to feed you, wash you, brush you, clean up after your doodies," I guess he didn't find the joke that funny, because the way he's glaring at me makes me want to crawl in a hole.

"I'm kidding duh! C'mon I bet my idiot brother's freaking out right now, because he doesn't know where I am." I got up throwing some money down on the table for our waitress/barista and left.

xXx

One second. One second was all it took for me to be almost tackled to the ground by my huge idiot brother. He was all red in the face and panting like he just ran a marathon. He probably had some sort of anxiety attack. Ha, that's what he gets… jerk. He was so busy reassuring himself that I was there and talking a mile a minute that he didn't even realize that we had a guest. Gaara cleared his throat impatiently as he stood at the entrance.

"Um, what's he doing here?" The idiot asked me as he continued to sit/crush my pelvic and stomach areas. If looked at in that way it would have been sexual except for the fact that I was in pain.

"Air levels… decreasing… light getting… dimmer. Need more… calcium." I said in my best William Shatner. I thought it was pretty funny, that is until the weight that was on me continued to stare at the redhead at the door. "KYUUBI! GET THE HELL OFF ME!" I shouted.

He scrambled as fast as he could to get off me. It actually did more damage than it did good, but at least he tried to make it speedy for my sakes.

"Now that the greetings out of the way we can go in the kitchen and discuss this like men, over tea and cookies." I said as I strolled pass the two redheads. (A/N: Ok, I couldn't resist. XD)

So here we are now, staring at each other from across our circle table, triangle formation of course. Kyuubi is nervous for some reason, he keeps glancing at Gaara subtly as if the raccoon is going to eat him. The cookies and tea lay forgotten in the center of the table without a single crumb defiling the surface of the porcelain.

"Um, why is he here again." I guessing he got fed up with the tense silence.

"Well, he's going to be our new roommate,"

"Tenant. I'm not going to stay here for free." I rolled my eyes. Seriously, what's with boys now a days with their idiotically high levels of pride.

"Well, whatever but the gist of what I'm saying is that he's going to be staying here until further notice. Understand?" My brother dumbly nodded his head.

"Did you ask dad about this? I mean, if he's got nowhere to go I'm all for it, but I have no clue if Iruka will. I don't want him to flip out if he comes home to find some goth looking kid living here. No offense." He added lastly, quickly looking over at Gaara to see if he would murder him.

"I'll talk to Iruka when he gets here, and we'll see what we can work out." I said, and my brother knew that when I put my mind to it, it would be done. No matter the consequences or the odds.

"Alright, I'll let you handle that flaming ship to hell then. So psycho, you don't mind if I call you psycho right? Great, I doubt you'd like it if I called you fluffy. And I don't know you well enough to call you by your first name so psycho it is." I kicked him as hard as I could under the table. He tried to play it off but his damp eyelashes told another story. I could see the smirk on Gaara's face and I knew he was appeased for now. Until my idiot twin had to go and open his mouth again.

"So psycho, why in all the seven hells does it look like you got hit by a train?" I tensed slightly, I knew he was going to ask, but I didn't know he would ask like that. I don't know why I was so nervous, maybe I expected Gaara to kill, or at the very least maim. I certainly didn't expect his response.

"I got into a fight with a ninja." Blink. Blink. Stare. Was-did Gaara make a joke? I laughed so hard that my body hit the ground with a sharp thud, but the pain barely registered as the fight for air battled throughout my respiratory system.

"You done?" Kyuubi asked me as his strawberry blonde head peeked over the table. I guess he didn't like not getting a straight answer, but he should have realized the gravity of the situation that just happened. Gaara just made a joke! The guy was so serious that his farts were on key! Ok, I've never heard him fart (nor do intend to), but still. He was so tense that if you put a piece of coal in his pants a diamond would fall out.

"Ah, yea I'm good now. Kyuu, I'm hungry feed me." I demanded. I'm a prince darn it!

"And why should I do that?" He was still peeved, but I could care less.

"because you wouldn't want me to tell Iruka that you let me out of the house, without a cellphone to run around the city when I wasn't in my right mind." His eyes narrowed in what he thought were a daring way, but he just looked like a sulking puppy. He pushed himself harshly from the table to the refrigerator.

'_Ah, sometimes mental disorders are just peachy.'_

xXx

"Gaara do you play?" I asked as I held up my copy of the newest COD. He grinned at me wickedly before sitting down on my favorite orange gaming chair (he must be crazy!). Ok now I'm annoyed. I might just have to hand it to him when we go against each other. Tch, all cower in fear before me! He should respect that.

"Do I play? Do you even have to ask?" Ok, Mr. cocky pants!

"Just don't go crying when I take you to church (A/N: That's like one of my favorite songs by T-pain. It's also a nice workout song.)

"Hn." Ok he just threw down the gauntlet! No one smirks at me like that! Unless it's Sasu-kitty (he smirks at me all the time like that so I don't pay him any mind.) By the way what is a gauntlet? Is it like a goblet, but more violent looking? Yea that's probably what it is.

Four games later and were tied in score. It's probably six or seven already, but I don't care. I'm on the floor and he's in my chair, were both on edge, but I'm not going to let it get to me. I'm determined to get more kill shots than him! No way am I losing a third time and giving him the satisfaction. Ok thirty seconds left! I check our stats and we're pretty even, he has one up on me, but I'm not deterred.

25 seconds. BAM! Headshot! Take that terrorists in some poor, desolate third world country. Ha, you're going down raccoon.

"NARUTO!" Uh-oh. I knew that voice. And it sounded angry. But I'm so close! 20 seconds left. Please Iruka don't! My prayers went unanswered as an angry brunette who looked beyond frazzled. I had to split my focus between the flashing screen, a devilishly grinning Gaara, or an irate brunette.

10 seconds. Oh my, he's getting really upset that I'm ignoring him. BAM, another kill. Oh hey Mr. Terrorist I see you! BAM!

3 seconds! Ah a whole pocket of you over there. Good night!

"Yes!" I jumped up once I saw the results!

"In your face panda-chan! Who's the best killer in the house? Naru is the best killer in the house! Say, who's the best killer in the house? Naru is the best killer in the house. Hey men, who's the best killer in the house? Naru is the best killer in the house! To the ladies now! Who's,"

"Ahem." I stopped my little wiggle/victory dance immediately, turning back around to face my maker.

"Oh, hi dad." Ok so I admit it. I'm a little bit scared of Iruka. It's just when he gets that infuriated look in his eye all cuteness that he once had disappears, and out pops this terrifying person.

"May I see you out in the hall _son_." Oh, he's definitely going to kill me. That idiot must have blew the situate=ion all out of proportion. _'I bet he didn't tell about him letting me run free this morning.' _ I thought with contempt.

"But I don't want Gaara to get lonely you know." I scratched the back of my neck harshly. It was a nervous tick that I developed in America.

"I'll live." I looked back at him, he had the cat that got the cream expression on his face. Let's face it, I'm screwed six ways from Sunday.

As I walked out of the room after my dad, I could've sworn I heard the dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dada song. Maybe it was all in my head. Weirder crap has happened. We stopped when we far enough away that Gaara wouldn't hear our conversation, or my screams.

"Naruto, do you want to explain to me why you have taken people in from off the streets to live here?" Wow if that's not exaggerating if I've ever seen it. I'll have to remember to sock it to my twin when I see him next.

"Gaara is not off the street, he's just having some really bad family issues, and can't go home right now… or ever. But don't worry he's ok now, and plus he said he'll pay you for his stay here. Even though I told him it wasn't necessary." I can see now that he gets it, but he's still apprehensive about it. I knew he wouldn't turn the broody redhead away; he was too nice for that.

"So whad'dya think?" I asked. I was a bit wary at his silence, but after a minute of silent contemplation he agreed. I hugged him so hard he practically died of oxygen deprivation. I ran/skip/tripped on my way to the room to share the good news.

"So I take he said yes?" I could only nod my answer, because I was panting so hard. And then I pounced.

"YAY!" I shouted. I already knew this was starting to be a great year.

xXx

I sighed as I sank down into my regular seat in my homeroom. I was so tired! Gaara had kept me up all night with his insomnia. And he had the nerve to smirk at me when I was moving in a whirlwind trying to get ready, while he sat calmly. Ugh, bastard.

"Why are you two late?" Neji asked. I was about to open my mouth and say something, but Gaara beat me too it.

"We rode to school together." I don't know where he was getting at, but I don't think I like it. I could see Sasuke's jaw clenched and his teeth were gnashing together. Neji didn't seem like he minded, but his regal brow had creased slightly.

"Yea Gaara lives at my house now." They looked kind of surprised, which I guess they have the right to be.

"Naruto why do you look so tired?" Oh, Neji that's why I love ye. He's always worried about me in some form. Again I was about to answer, but being the bastard that Gaara was he decided that he would take the responsibility off my hands.

"We had a weekend orgy." That's what he said, with the most serious face that he ever had. I would've believed him also if not for the fact that I was there for yesterday, and the day before.

It's actually kind of funny how the classroom seems to go completely quiet before someone says something embarrassing or crude. I don't think my cheeks could get any redder as everyone at my table, and all my classmates stared between the both of us. I was about to deny the rumor, but then Kakashi showed up. Honestly? Of all the days, he chooses today to be early (or as early as he could be)?

"Ok class sit back, and shut up." Oh screw me.

A/N: poor Naru-chan, but it's going to get worse before it gets better. You have any ideas on how to torture our poor blonde? Write a review! Share your knowledge with me I crave it! First review on this chapter gets a cookie! Ja ne!

**(1)Haipā – means hyper in Japanese. Wasn't that hard to figure out. Isn't Tobi just adorable?**


	5. Consequences of Housing a Raccoon

Welcome back to anyone who is still reading this story! I apologize for the wait on this chapter, but I've been phishing for ideas on how to properly introduce bachelors #4 and 5. Or Sasuke, and Itachi. I've also been tampering with the comedy that's coming up in the near future. I think the last chapter 'Gaara say wha?' was a start to it. But I wouldn't know yet until I get some feedback (subtle hint). Well enjoy the fifth chapter of TOAL.

.

Whoever said that rumors eventually die out if not confirmed or majorly discussed by the involved parties can go suck it. It's been almost 3 days and the 'orgy' rumor that Gaara "jokingly" made has spread around the school faster than mono. Its caused me so much trouble that I actually prayed for the floor to open up and swallow me whole. When Gaara has said I was about to deny it to the seventh level of hell, but the teacher showed up. He must've knew something was up because he gave me that little eye smile like he knew something about it. But I did make a new friend that day and I was really shocked to learn his identity. Let's go back to that Monday shall we?

xXx

Sasuke and Neji were staring at us with their eyes bugging from their skulls in shock. It would have been absolutely hilarious if not for it being the same situation. I was ready to protest when the cheeriest voice that I could learn to hate said:

"Ok class, sit back and shut up." I turned around to burn holes into my sensei who had just bumped up to number two on my list, (A/N: Inside joke between my friends and i. when someone irritates us or something we say you just got bumped up to a random number on our list. And you have to tell them who is in front of them on your list. But the name has to be ridiculous.) right below Mr. Floppalopolous, and right in front of Mojo Jo Jo (evil monkey from power puff girls).

He must have known about my evil thought because he looked directly at me and smiled his eye smile like nothing totally happened. God, he's such a prick.

"Kyuubi, pull your head out of your posterior and pay attention." With his daily insult out of the way he began our lesson. I really didn't pay attention, because I was still wrapped up in this morning's comment. Everyone was looking at us like we actually did it. And Gaara wasn't helping my defense case by wearing that smirk on his usually scowling face. That idiot brother wasn't even defending my honor. Not that I need him to though. I'm not a girl! But he could at least say it wasn't true. I mean, he was there the whole weekend!

I can feel the disapproving stares, and the inquisitive glances they kept sending at me, especially Gaara's personal stalker Matsuri. The sweet little brown haired girl that introduced herself to me on the first day of school is virtually nonexistent right now. She wanted my blood, I could smell it.

It's crazy really. Girls obsess over guys that want nothing to do with them. And when another female, or male gets close to the ones they obsess over they go crazy, because that person got what they had wanted. I have tried to stay out of the fangirls' way, but I find it hard when each of my friends has their own club. I can barely sit down in my usual seat without some girl that doesn't even know me trying to glare me to death or give me notes to pass on. I would almost call it pathetic if I were one to judge. And some of these girls are really smart, and pretty. They could get anyone they liked, well except the emo trio. But they should realize that these boys are so frigid that their core temperature equals 68.9 degrees collectively.

I didn't even use my full brain power on the in-class project that, that sadistic Cyclops gave us. Damage control was going to be difficult, surmised. This was going to be intense. First I would have to establish the truth with the biggest gossipers that I can actually stand. I did a quick look around the room for who I was searching for.

Ino was bag texting, and glancing at me subtly. It was no doubt that she was spreading the poison that is teenage rumors. I glared at her and she eeped, turning around to resume her 'knowledge' spreading. I looked towards the pink haired girl that I used to like. She looked like she wanted to skin me. i smirked at her, and if possible she got even redder with anger. _'oh this is too easy.' _ I leaned closer to me duck butt haired friend, rubbing my nose in his shoulder. He looked at me strangely, but didn't push me off. Glancing back to Sakura I couldn't contain the laugh that was being trapped between my lips.

It had to have been some scene from a movie, i think. The way everyone's head snapped in my direction only added to the mirth in my eyes. I wasn't even bothered that my habit of falling when laughing came back with detrimental force. It just felt so good to laugh my troubles away right now. Kakashi-sensei was staring at me, but I could see the knowing twinkle in his eye.

After I collected myself (really meaning I laughed until I was in physical pain) I sat back down in my chair. The pinkette across the room had proverbial smoke coming out of her ears. She reminded me of a raging bull on a rampage. If it wasn't so funny it might have been scary.

Class went on as routine without any major distractions, besides Sasuke scowling, Gaara smirking, Matsuri, and Sakura glaring, Neji being polite as always, and me chuckling every now and then.

xXx

"Hey loser! I need to have a word with you." I didn't even respond to the taunt to the totally screechy voice that I hear every first period. I was currently in the hallway speaking to Haku and Neji in the math wing When Sakura decided to rudely interrupt with her 'gang' of she-monsters or Sasuke followers.

"So Haku, the test is when?" I asked again. I really hate repeating myself, but this girl must get her jollies off annoying me in all ways. And she cut Haku off as he was about to speak. The Nerve! I could tell the brunette was uncomfortable with the situation. Even though he could pretty much kick anyone's butt, Haku tends to avoid confrontation at all costs.

"LOO-SER!" Syllables? Seriously honey? Now she's pushing it. Neji looks like he wants to hit her, which is bad… I guess. I could actually feel her breath on the back of my neck. So I guess she didn't get over homerooms incident? But it was pretty funny though. I continued to ignore her until she had the balls to hit me over the head. And it wasn't a little tap. No this female dog had gorilla hands. I slowly turned around to face her, and she must have been surprised. I knew the cold fury could be seen in my eyes, but I didn't care. I love my personal space, and if I don't initiate the touch then theirs hell to pay.

"Touch me again, and I break your wrist. Then I'll reset it, and break it again!" I knew how to do it too. You tend to learn things when your adopted grandmother is the best doctor in the country.

"Now, I don't know where you got your facts from Sakura-_chan, _but I'm not a pushover as you suspect that I am. I can let you get away with your crappy insults, and your self-righteousness, but when you interrupt Haku, and get violent, then I have a problem! So please go back to wherever the hell you came from, and take your little group with you, BEFORE I GET ANGRY!" Wow that felt really good. "Shall we?" I asked Haku. He nodded shakily as we made our way into the class room, leaving the crowd that I didn't know was there.

Haku was still nervous as he sat down next to me. All the pent up frustration just came out during that one moment. I like to call it a 'spdst' moment (stupid people doing stupid things). I actually hate them, but they happen every day and it's not something I can control.

"Um, Naru? Are you alright?"

"Yea, don't worry. The day didn't start out as well as it could have. I'm hoping it'll get better by the end of the day." _'hopefully'_

"OK, but what was that all about?"

"Crazy girls. What else needs to be said?"

"Oh, well if you say so? Um Naruto you-you don't have to answer, but are you and G-gaara d-dating?" Is there anywhere that these rumors don't follow? They've corrupted my poor Haku!

"No that idiot deliberately made a rumor about us supposedly having a weekend long sex fest. Then out of nowhere every girl I see wants to castrate me painfully." HE's laughing, but he has no idea I'm being totally serious. Sometimes having emo friends sucks.

"So what are you going to do about it?" That is an interesting question. What would you do when you have females that are foaming at the mouth chasing after you? (A/N: I would actually like to hear your opinion on this.)

"I don't know Haku; I'm just going to pray that this dies down after a couple of days." He snorted at me. if I wasn't sitting so close to him I would have denied that he made the sound.

What a day.

'**Uzumaki Naruto come to the principal's office. Uzumaki Naruto to the principal's office.' **The soft voice of the office worker rang throughout my 2nd period, and I couldn't help but groan out loud. A few of the immature kids in class did the whole 'ooh, you're in trouble.' I just brushed it off. Kurenai-sensei handed me a hall pass, and a sympathetic glance. My bag suddenly felt way heavier than it truly was. I was just so bone tired.

There was no doubt in my mind that my class heard the Sakura incident before class. I actually didn't care, until now. This was only going to further add to the rumors. Untrue rumors might I add.

xXx

I pushed the door open to the office as softly as I could, but considering how agitated I was by today's events I don't think I succeeded. Sakura was sitting in front of baa-chan, crying what I'm sure were fake tears. The blonde had her hand on her fist, looking extremely bored. Apparently the pink headed witch didn't notice my arrival yet considering that she's still continuing her sob story.

"And he threatened me with bodily harm Tsunade-sama! And I was only going to tell him to be nicer to Sasuke-kun."

"[cough] bull, [cough]" I slinked towards the chair that again magically appeared. (A/N: Heheh chapter 1 reference.) Tsunade gave me an irritated, but thankful glare. She must have been getting of it too.

"See how mean he is, it's enough proof right there." Ugh, I'm going to puke. Tsunade sighed, just like breathing was taking the biggest effort she had.

"Naruto did you threaten her?" I nodded no need in lying.

"Only after she punched me in the back of the head." She squawked. What is she, a bird?

"I did not!"

"Oh save it, I don't give two rat shits, about you, or your lies. Everyone in the hall saw it happen, so no need in denying it when you clearly did it. Baa-chan do you have all you need to know? Cause I really don't want to be in here any longer than I need to. Good? Great." I gathered all my things, before leaving, but I stopped in the doorway.

"Oh, and baa-chan would you mind telling the rest of my classes that I'm not going to be there, I just…" She nodded at me; see that's what I love about the hag. She always knows, about everything. It's annoying most of the time, though.

xXx

Ah, fresh air you got to love it. I think I've been at the main tree, by the parking lots for over an hour. I feel much better now. The crisp foliage smell wafted over me, enveloping me in the type of security, that only Konoha could provide. This is what I missed for three years in America. It was really hard to find many trees, or even fields in New York. I pulled out of my thought by a black car pulling into the parking lot. But the car wasn't my main focus. The guy stepping out of the car was. He was freaking hot! (A/N: 3 guesses who he is, I'm not giving him away until next chapter!)

Tall, lean, and imposing. Wow. He was hot, but I really wanted to know what he was doing here. I mean, it's not every day you see someone that smooth every day. He must have somehow heard my thoughts, because he turned towards me with a tiny smirk.

A pale hand beckoned me over to him, but I was hesitant. You know that whole saying, don't talk to strangers, well I still follow it. It really hasn't steered me wrong yet.

"Are you going to continue to stare at me, or are you going to come over and talk?" I sighed with exasperation. He just ruined my whole opinion of him, but whatever. It wouldn't hurt to talk to him, and I doubt he was some sort of psychopath.

I leaned against the black foreign car silently, not giving him any hints to what I was thinking. He finds me amusing, if that little smile is anything to go by. He pulled out a box of cigarettes, lighting one and inhaling the rich smoke.

"Smoking's bad for your health." I tell him, snatching the cancer stick from between his lips. I took a long drag from it, before snuffing it out on the ground.

"How hypocritical." He says.

"I never said I was perfect."

"Hm, true I suppose. What is your name, and why aren't you in school right now?" I shrug, it's not really any of his business, but I guess since I did kill his cigarette I'll give him an answer.

"Uzumaki Naruto and you are."

"Greatly amused." Wow, today just gets better, and better doesn't it.

"That might have been funny. If I was in the mood for it."

"Ah the curses of High school drama." I raised a blonde eyebrow at him. He really strike me as the type to know any of what was going on.

"How would you know?"

"I wouldn't, I was home schooled since the 8th grade."

"That must have done wonders for your social skills." I muttered, looking the other way. He chuckled jubilantly.

"I might not understand, but you could tell me." Ok, that was… strange. I guy I don't know, telling me that I can bitch about my day to him. He's actually curious about it.

"I don't want to rant about it to you." He just shook his head, gently coaxing me to tell him. I don't know about him, but his presence is soothing. So here I am now bitching about pink haired witches, red haired menaces, and the infection that is the school rumor. He laughed, offered advice, and even offered to sue a certain she-monster for harassment.

"Thanks, but no thanks, just make sure your free to defend me when a certain person suddenly goes missing." The bell on campus rang suddenly, killing the pleasant mood that surrounded us.

"Ugh," I seemed to be groaning a lot these days.

"Do you need a ride?"

"Not that I don't appreciate the offer, but my brother is probably searching for me. It was nice speaking to you. Oh I never did catch your name."

"It's," His phone rang cutting off in whatever he was going to say. The soft voice on the end of the phone kind of reminded me of someone, but I threw the thought away. He hung up the cell turning back around; he said the words that made me black out for a minute or two.

"My name is-"

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I'm so evil! But anyway thanks for everything yada yada! You know I love you all! And ill reveal the mystery identity in the next chap! Kinda short chapter, but I've been really busy getting ready for school to start! It really sucks! But I'm done complaining. Ja Ne!


	6. And Our Mystery Guest Is

Hiya! It's little ol' me again! I'm sorry for the wait to any of my committed readers, but my mom is doing online classes, so she's hijacked my computer! But never fear ill always update within the week/month! This chapter might be a little short, because I'm trying to meet a deadline, but it will reveal the mystery character since no one has managed to get it! And please remember that this chapter is a part of the flashback that started in the last chapter. Well on with the show!

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"My name is Itachi Uchiha." I blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then I fainted. Later I would deny it as a manly lapse in all momentary brain functions. but that's not the point. I opened my eyes to stare back into two deep brown irises. One of his eyebrows was raised in amused suspicion, which was extremely irritating.

"Playing the damsel in distress act will get you nowhere in life. Especially if you go around fainting, you're bound to find someone who won't catch you." He just made my list, right below Ronald McDonald, and right in front of Chuck E. Cheese; and I told him as much as soon as I got out of his clutches (let's just pretend he's the dastardly villain in my Disney movie). He chuckled in his own smooth voice.

"So you're Sasu-kitty's brother. I should've known; you're both ass-hats anyway." He didn't even bother to look offended at my observations. I half-heartedly waved my hand in parting, turning around to leave the once stranger-now friend in the lot.

"See you around Naruto-kun." _Yea, see ya._ Strolling leisurely back to where our car was parked was easy enough, but that didn't stop my brain from revving on all four cylinders. I really just wanted a nap, but I doubt I could with everything that happened today. I needed to clear my head, of everything besides breathing. Maybe I should have a chat with Iruka; he is a therapist/psychologist after all. And a very good one at that.

I leaned against the shiny vehicle waiting for my twin and the red menace (A/N: League of Super Evil shout out!) I didn't have to wait that long for the dup to finally emerge from the prison that is school.

"Oh my god Naru, where were you? You just disappear without calling me first? Do you have any idea how worried I was getting a ring from the office telling me you won't be here the rest of the day? No, you don't! You want to know why? Because you're inconsiderate! And another thing-are you alright now?" Hm, that has got to be a record. The most amount of words said without pausing, or inhaling. Not to mention the fact that he asked me if I was ok after bursting my eardrums.

"I'm fine. Some unfortunate events happened after this morning's unpleasant confession." I didn't even feel like gracing them with my eyesight. So I kept my eyes firmly shut. Every thought of glaring at Gaara evaporated, leaving nothing behind, but a long list of viscous pranks he had coming his way. Now that I think about it, Gaara could be the best publicist if he wanted to. He's awesome at making a fire and continuously fanning it, until it explodes outward on every living being in its general vicinity.

"Like what." LIKE WHAT? I wanted to scream, but nothing gets done when you scream (A/N: True fact). I was murdering him so brutally in my brain I didn't realize I had already got in the car without them, until Gaara repeated the question.

"Hm, let's see. How about everyone stalking, glaring, and or whispering about me whenever I'm within seeing distance. Or, oh this is the best part; how about getting yelled at by neon colored females, and getting sent to the office on complete horse shit? Mm, does that sum it up for you Panda-chan?" Ok, Ok, the whole Sakura thing didn't have anything to do with Gaara, but it sure didn't help my mood.

"Um, well uh, we should be getting home." Kyuubi said. I wanted to roll my eyes, because the idiot was the one driving the car; therefor he could've left already. I knew that he felt a little awkward about the whole thing. I could honestly feel where he was coming from. I would've felt weird too, if I were caught in the middle of someone else's fight, especially if I were friends with both participants.

The tension inside the car was heavy as Kyuubi drove us home. Any other day we would be at some hangout spot with our friends, but not today. I was itching for a nap, a bowl of soupy goodness (ramen), and a chat with my therapist/dad.

xXx

I knocked on the door of my guardian's in-home office softly, but firmly. I could hear the jazz coming through the solid oak. Iruka says it calms him down, but I think he's just doing what teenagers do during a rebellious phase (except he listens to jazz). I hear the enter command (even though I was just going to barge into the office space a moment later) and I walked in. The brunette was sitting behind a table writing reports on some poor soul, who most definitely needs the magical guidance of my dad.

"Oh, hello Naru. How are you? I got a call from Tsunade today, I hope everything is alright." Loaded question mixed with a subtle threat. It might appear casual to the unknown eye, but the underlying tone was anything but. Til this day I never knew why he chose his career in therapy; he could've been the best lawyer in the city, maybe even the country. But I knew Iruka hated to lie when it wasn't necessary.

"Oh yeah some things happened since I left this morning. False accusations and whatnot." He nodded his head again, fingers folded into an arch in front of his face. We're getting our nonverbal conversation type thingys we used to do. It always irritated everyone around us, but that wasn't the intention (most of the time).

"Things like…?" Hm, what exactly should I tell him? Hey dad Gaara said something totally stupid, and made a rumor on accident, and I got beat up by girl? Or maybe: I smoked a cig with this guy's brother after I ditched school. Decisions, decisions.

"Just things, some rumors started up, but that's about it." He nodded, taking a sip of his magically appearing coffee. (A/N: Some author magic for this chapter!)

"Do the versions of the rumors that you hear at least hold some truth to them, or are they completely outrageous?" I told him the latter, in which he nodded. Grabbing his clipboard that also appeared out of thin air, and started scribbling. "Do you know how these rumors got started, or who made them originally?"

"I do, but I'm not going to cause any fuss about it." I had an inkling that if I ignored Gaara long enough he would apologize in his own little way, so what's the point? No one can stand being on my list for forever; it's a basic fact that everyone's taught when their young,

"Do you know why this person would say something potentially hurtful about you?"

"It's not really his fault I guess. The bastard was trying to be funny, but he didn't quite do it right. I have no idea what was going through his head when he said that. [Sigh] That idiot."

"Well it really shouldn't be a problem then. If you know, and he knows that it's a joke; who cares what other people say? You've never cared before, so why start now?"

"It's not as simple as you make it sound. This isn't middle school, or elementary. Everyone's crazy here. I'm just trying to finish high school like every other teen my age. Without a major incident, but I'm already up a shit stream with no paddle huh?" Usually he would've snapped at me for my less than intelligent language, but he must have known about my bad day.

"I guess." He said with a tiny smile, which in turn had me smiling. This is one of the many reasons why I loved this little brown man (not to mention the fact that he can make ramen that can rival Ichiraku's). No matter what happened or how shitastic my day was, he could always make me smile. The sap.

"Now that I've reached my fatherly advice quota for the month, do you want to explain to me why I smell smoke on your clothes?" Damn.

"I don't want to, but you're going to make me, aren't you?" The look on his face was all the answer I needed. His eyes got a little fiercer; you could just tell he was holding back the rage he felt about me smoking, or just being affiliated with the health hazard. See, all his paranoia on the smoking subject stems from a time when I was 13, but that's a story for another day. (A/N: Could become a one shot if requested enough.)

"Sasuke's brother smokes; couldn't be helped." Not a total lie.

"And your breath?" Double damn. Ok think quickly Naru, you can do this. Hurry, he's staring! Who are you? Deal with it later idiot!

"We were…frenching?" His eyes bulged almost comically from his skull. Ok, I knew I was a horrible liar, but whenever I even mention something even semi-sexual he totally freaks.

"YOU WERE WHAT?" Ouch. Baby got lungs. I hesitantly nodded, hopefully not digging myself deeper into the hole than I was. "A-are you dating this person?" I shook my head no. Dating Itachi? Come on, what? Well the idea really didn't sound that bad after you thought about it. He is hot. But he probably has his own blood thirsty cult too. That's a turn off. I wonder how big he- Wait Naru off subject!

"You're not dating him, but you kissed him?" Oh poor Ruka-chan you're going to give yourself brain damage trying to figure me out. But what can I do? "Why exactly?" Ok time to whip out my lawyering skills!

"Well it wasn't really kissing per se, so much as he was just welcoming me back to the world of the living, because I passed out." Great, that's how you do it. Intertwine your lies with the truth so that they sound believable.

"Passed out?" ugh! I always hated 21 questions.

"Yea today was kind of stressful. Not to mention that I haven't memory lapsed yet (A/N: Naruto's way of describing his transitions since he can't remember anything he does anyway), so I'm just killing myself waiting for it to happen. So to sum it up I've basically been having mini anxiety attacks. I went out for some fresh air, met a nice stranger, shared his toxic fumes, and got a kiss in return! Hehehe." I'm just shaking with dread now. I'm the worst liar I know, so I was just waiting any moment for Iruka to call my bluff.

"Are you sure he wasn't taking advantage of the situation? How old is this guy anyway?"

"Uh I'm not sure, but I'll make sure to find out. Can I go now?" He sighed, but nodded anyway. I shot out of there like the hounds of hell were nipping at my heels. Closing the door quietly, I made my way into the room. Surprisingly there was already someone invading my haven, and he was looking rather stoic in his creepy meditating stance. Now if that isn't creepy my name is Shirley (and it's not). (A/N: Courage the cowardly dog reference.)

The redhead turned his head towards my direction, but otherwise stayed quiet. I guess he wanted to talk about his mess up. He probably wanted me to say something to make it less awkward (Ha good luck panda boy!) I dint just spend what was it? 3 hours? Yea, I didn't just spend 3 hours in therapy with my father to forgive him that easily. Does that defeat the purpose of therapy? If it does I don't care.

I passed him by without even sparing him a glance; reaching for the buttons on my shirt, I started to undo them before thinking better of it. Looking over shoulder I raised my blonde brow slightly. Was he really going to sit there in Zombie mode whilst I strip? Not only would that be a little awkward, it's kind of creepy too.

He met my eyes, but unlike my passionate pools, his were blank. Oh, so is this the game he wants to play? Fine! I gathered the things I would need for a shower and marched through the corridors to his bedroom. His room was empty, but ill convince him later to decorate (if he begs for forgiveness first).

His bathroom isn't as mighty as mine, but I can make do for now (even though I was craving for a soak in my huge tub).

'_Ah, bliss'_ I thought as the warm rivulets of water cascaded down my body making a graceful arc when it ran down my back. But my bliss was short lived as the shower curtain was yanked back violently. My mind immediately went to that scene from that Hitchcock movie where the guy murders the unfortunate broad in the shower. I almost piss myself at the thought.

But instead of a murderer it was Gaara, and he looked less than pleased that I was in his shower, but I didn't care. After I recovered from my manly scream, I gathered as much of my dignity covered my manly bits with the washcloth, and left. Hehehe manly bits.

"The silent treatment Uzumaki? How childish." _'Ignoring you~' _I sang in my head like the child he thought I was. Oh yea, I was totally milking this, and I'm going to freaking enjoy it.

xXx

And so this is where you find me today; almost the weekend, I'm still not talking to Gaara, and I'm a local celebrity of sorts. But not the kind of celebrity that's in the papers for something good. No, I'm like a politician caught in the middle of a horrendous scandal that shocked a nation or something.

"At least there's a silver lining to this horrible maelstrom. (A/N: word play!) Not everyone believes the rumor or other strange variations, but they do provide a nice source of entertainment. The funniest version I've heard so far was that I was having a secret tryst with Neji behind Gaara's back, so when Gaara found out he went absolutely nuts with jealousy. Did I also mention that Sasuke and I had a baby out of wedlock? Somehow I think the girls in this school are slowly going crazy with the dreaded Yaoi virus.

"Are you alright?" Genma-sensei asked. He is currently my third favorite teacher here. If his hair wasn't brown, and he didn't slouch so much or chew on toothpicks it's quite possible that he could pass for Kakashi-sensei's double.

"Hm, ye I guess I was just having a flashback or something cliché like that." He nodded absentmindedly, not really caring or listening to what I was saying.

"Yes well do that. Oh, and don't forget to start writing some arguing points on that topic we discussed earlier in class. I want you to be the lead speaker next week and you have to be in top shape.

Yea, yea, I get it." Nodding to himself in a satisfied manner before revolving around the room in his lazily whimsical way.

"I hope you actually process what he's saying instead of blowing it off. I don't feel like losing because your impotent." Ah, I can't even have a moments reprieve from the teme. He's like a gnat.

"Teme please."

"Hm, whatever. You're coming over my house to work on this." He stated. No, more like declared. Like he's a king or something. Psh, yea right. Like I even want to go there. Ok, that's a lie; I'm a little curious about his life, but it's not my fault. He never shares anything. All I know is that he has a brother. Should I go to his house? But what if he is there? One bastards annoying but two? That's a whole other game. Well he is offering help. Who am I to crush his dreams?

"Ok teme you got a deal."

"Hn, like you had a choice." Ugh! Bastard!

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Short chapter, I know, but I told you that already. And thank you **NarutoSPspyren** for your lovely reviews. The end is kind of rushed, but who cares! Ja Ne!


	7. For the Love Of Chocolate

Hello it's me again! And I agree that I'm a total douche for not updating in like two weeks, but school just started, so I'm hoping you can understand. Wow I'm outta the funk aren't I? Oh well, here's a little segment were I go off on a ramble. I saw thirty minutes or less. Let me say, t was single handedly the funniest thing I saw this year! Aziz Ansari is the funniest comedian besides Kevin Hart, Katt Williams, and Bo Burnham! But don't take that to heart, I'm a little off my rocker this season. Oh, and one more thing, Toaster Stroodels are the tastiest frozen pastries ever!

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"Hurry up usurantonkachi!" God, if that miserable sack of crap tells me to hurry up one more time I swear I will hide all his hair gel. Why is he in such a hurry anyway? It's not like if we don't get there in the next twenty minutes his house will explode. But it would he cool if it did. I'm not saying I want his house to explode, I'm just saying it would be extremely cool if it did. I could just imagine the teme on his knees crying to the heavens about how his favorite comb was melted into the foundation of his house. Or how his 15x mirror with illumination for those pesky midnight pimples, that showed all his heavenly

Pores suddenly imploded. Now I would pay to see that.

"Ah, shut up." Though inside I was gushing over his car. It figured that the bastard would have a nice car. It was a deep blue, like the highlights in his hair; though I wouldn't tell him that. The bastard was already smug enough.

I relaxed into the cool leather interior fully setting myself up for a nice relaxing drive; that is until I felt my eyes start to sting. Saltwater ran down my face as I blinked rapidly to clear my eyes. If Sasuke noticed he didn't say anything. It had been almost 3 months since school started and he was fully aware of my situation. Before I totally lost awareness I put my glasses away, opting for my contacts that I kept on my person at all times. It was kind of hard trying to do it right instead of poking myself in the eye because I was shaking so much. I really hated this, but there was nothing I could do.

xXx

Sasuke glanced slyly at his blonde passenger out of the corner of his eye. It was a little unsettling to virtually not know the person sitting so close to you. The blonde's brother had warned Sasuke about his condition and his major mood swings, but there was no clear way to determine which one he would be having. The raven tensed a bit when he blonde reached inside his bag, pulling out a little white burette with pink polka dots and clipped in his hair.

If Sasuke would have been anyone else he would have laughed until he couldn't breathe. But as an Uchiha he had certain duties to uphold. At the most he allowed a broad smirk to cover his handsome face. Naruto's demeanor got a little crazier when he started to inspect his nails, crying over the chipped ones, and detailing the length of each one. Overall he looked like a gender confused teen.

"Oh Sasu-kitty, I think your pretty. We should do it." the raven's head whipped around so fast, Sasuke was confused as to why he didn't get whiplash. He stared at the gender-bending teen with a mix of curiosity, seriousness, and just a tad bit of eagerness. Swallowing the clogging lump in his throat the raven forced himself to think straight.

"Shut up idiot." He said when he really meant alright. He would never take advantage of someone's weakness, but what if it was really the blonde's subconscious trying to tell him something. Perhaps Naruto secretly liked him, but was too terrified to say anything because his handsomeness was so threatening. Yea that's got to be it.

"Sasu-kitty is so mean to me!" Naruto wailed, pushing the unlock button and fleeing. The raven didn't even realize that he was at his home until he ran after the little girlhood twink. Running after a mentally unstable girly boy was no piece of cake either. Sasuke was barely able to catch the elevator that

carried one up from the ground parking lot to the top.

"Leave [sniff] me alone." The blonde said as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his fist. He turned to face the corner, effectively ignoring the irate teenager currently trying to talk to him.

"Godamnit Naruto, you will listen when I'm talking to you."

"Nuh Uh." he made a grab for the blonde, but being he awesome person the blonde was he ducked between Sasuke's legs on his hands and knees as soon as the door opened. Well that didn't go as planned. The raven thought as he stormed out into the hallway fully intent on finding the little cross dressing demon.

"Dobe, you're really starting to get on my last nerve today. If you don't come out right this instant I am calling your father!" Since he's acting like a child he might as well get treated like one. He heard a loud whatever shouted from the hiding Dobe, giving away his position. "And I'll tell him how bad you're being.

I'll also make sure he doesn't give you any ramen for two months."

"NOOOO!" Naruto was a blur of yellow and white as he tackled him, pleading and sobbing for his Sasu-kitty to not be so mean to poor Naru. The blonde was so busy crying that he missed the triumphant smirk on pale features.

"C'mon Dobe let's go. Now you've made us late, FlipFlops won't be happy idiot. You're going to have to explain to him why were late you know." Sasuke continued to guilt trip the gullible blonde as he led him by the wrist like a toddler.

Tiny yips and barks could be heard through the door as he struggled with the keys. Sasuke covered his ears as a high pitched squeal interrupted the gentle setting in the hall.

"She's so cute! Sasuke!" The blonde fell to his knees to smother the little Pomeranian with love; that he thoroughly returned. "You're so cute! Yes you are! How can such a big meanie have a pretty doggy like you? Aww!"

"Dobe, that's a boy." He said as he walked past the blonde who was basically having a spazgasm over the little terror. He frankly could care less; that little dog could jump out of the one way safety glass, plummet 12 stories down and he wouldn't care. The only reason he kept it was because his mother gave it to him and she always asked about the fuzzy ball of energy.

"Oh don't mind him cutie, he's just a big old stick in the mud. He doesn't even want to do it with me! Can you believe that? We could make beautiful man babies. [Sigh] his loss I guess." Being so blissfully unaware to his surroundings, Naruto didn't hear the sudden release of water coming from the mouth of a certain short haired Uchiha.

"Otouto, as much as much as I wish that you would water the plants, I had hoped you would use more conventional means." The lazy, but amused drawl behind him turned his dumbfounded look into a pinched scowl. He cleaned the water from the counter and cabinets in jerky agitated motions. "Where's the ankle biter?"

"Cuddling with an idiot." Was the elusive reply.

"Does this idiot happen to have blonde hair and a bow in said hair?"

"Wait how did you-" The mini raven's eyes threatened to protrude from his skull as he absorbed the sight in front of him. The person in question was currently using his brother's back as a means for transportation. Itachi didn't seem to mind as much as he should have, considering that his hands were resting a little high under the blonde's thighs.

"You didn't tell me you lived here Tachi! Especially with such a grumpy Sasu-kitty!" Sasuke was extremely puzzled now. The usually witty, sarcastic, overall pain in the tush was now on his brother's back twirling the pieces of hair that fell in his face. They were acting like they knew each other for years, and weren't standing in a kitchen carrying someone or being carried.

"Hm, look Naruto we might have broken him." The blonde only shrugged; not caring in the least.

"Serves him right for being such a grumpy pants. He didn't even want to do it when I asked! He must have ED or something."

"Could you stop bringing that up!" He shouted, suddenly frustrated, but at what he didn't know. Maybe it was the fact that he wasn't the one carrying the bubbly blonde right now.

"It is certainly a possibility." the older Uchiha added thoughtfully, as if they were discovering the weather or something else as mundane. The fuming Uchiha stormed off in his usual broody way; but not before sending his most potent glare.

"Let me down Tachi, I gotta pee." Way too much information, the raven concluded as he let the squirming blonde down. Naruto scampered off like a little raccoon on the hunt for some tasty trash, or anything else more disgustingly edible.

The older raven walked around the apartment until he reached the kitchen where his younger brother was staring at the ceiling with a broody expression on his face. Itachi loved his little brother, truly he did, but sometimes his brother just needed to loosen up a little. Everything isn't as serious as he makes it half the time. Every time the youngest Uchiha found something that displeased him his face contorted into the meanest of scowls. Itachi decided that he had the perfect way to 'relax' his precious baby brother for a couple of hours.

"Why so melancholy Otouto?" The youngest Uchiha growled something unintelligible, not answering the question in the least. Going over to the refrigerator, the raven rearranged some things in the bottom drawer before pulling out a plate of brownies. Sasuke raised an eyebrow questioningly, wondering what on earth was his brother doing. If he remembered correctly, the only sweets that Itachi ever indulged in was his insane consumption of pocky on a bad day. So the question is: What the hell are brownies doing in the refrigerator, and why wasn't he notified? The young Uchiha was a known chocaholic and those brownies were going on his D.O.A. list.

"Well since you were being such a bummer when poor Naru-chan was trying his hardest, I've decided to help you cheer up." Itachi said as he passed his brother one of the brownies, quickly pulling the rest of the plate away when his greedy little brother reached for them. "Uchiha's don't pout Sasuke. You only get one. Maybe later, and I mean probably not anywhere in the near future, you may be able to get another." He said as he skillfully re-hid the brownies behind the broccoli (which Sasuke adamantly refuses to even look at).

Sasuke immediately felt a shift in his center of gravity after the brownie was fully consumed. He stared at his hands that were turning purple? What was happening to him? All of a sudden he felt really heavy. Not like fat heavy, just weighed down heavy. And why was Itachi smiling that?

"Aniki?" Was the slurred question Sasuke Uchiha asked to his now mischievously smiling brother. He knew that look, and it was nothing but trouble. But Sasuke wasn't really able to care right now. He felt too happy to care; he also felt like dancing, which he did.

"Aniki look I'm a bird! Wee!" He said as he flapped his arms around wildly. He could hear the vague sound of a click and a brief light, but he just felt so good right now! And was that a fox? Oh this day just keeps getting better!

"Oh the magical wonders of Cannabis." He thought as he snapped some more blackmail photos of his high baby brother. He circled the bubbly brunette, watching as he played with Naruto's hair, and the bows that kept magically appearing from somewhere. (A/N: cough_magic_cough)

"Tachi, come see. Come see! Sasu-kitty is so much friendlier now! What happened?" Naruto asked excitedly, bouncing up and down from his position between the raven's legs as they played on the floor. Itachi held a finger to his lips and made a shushing noise with his mouth.

"It's a secret Naru, just a pinch of weasel magic." With that he winked and sat down on the couch to watch television and supervise the 'children'.

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OMG! A high Sasuke just seemed like the funnies thing to me! Well thanks to all my loyal readers that continue to support me even though I don't update as often as I should. I'm currently thinking over an idea for a KakaNaru one shot were they go to couples therapy. I'll give a shout in this story if I ever get around to it. Ja Ne!


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